That Child Needs a Whoopin!

How many times have you been in public and see a toddler or even a young child completely melt down?  How often has someone in your group or someone within ear shot spout off "That Child just needs a good old fashion whoopin!"

Being a Mom is hard.  Being a Mom to toddlers (especially several) is even harder!  Throw in a child with special needs and BAM!  There's a recipe for a temper tantrum of epic proportions right there in aisle 3! Occasionally it's even Mom throwing that fit but hey! We all know how that feels right!

When my first set of children were little there were 4 of them all under the age of about 6 1/2.  Trips to Walmart could get hairy.  I was a stay-at-home Mom so I had the freedom to be a little bit more wise about my shopping times.  Yes I took all 4 with me to do grocery shopping.  Yes we occasionally had a melt down, but compared to the number of trips we made I'm going to say my girls and I were fairly successful at getting our shopping done without being a burden on the other shoppers in the store.

I'm writing this entry not to chastise moms out there but to offer some options to make your shopping trips successful and even enjoyable. If you are a working Mom, this will be a little more challenging for you but you can do it!  This post is not directed at the 'stop buy after work because we have no toilet paper in the house and that's all I need to get' trips - those are a necessity and even the most tired toddler can take a 3 minute trip to the TP aisle and back home again!

#1 NEVER take your child shopping when they are tired - period. No but this or that, Don't do it.  I can't tell you how many toddlers I have had to steer my shopping cart around flopping in the aisle and the weary Mom looks up at me and says "He's so tired!" with a helpless smile.    *** Side Note --- Not too long ago I was in Walmart and heard a child screaming.  Parents yelling at each other "I don't know WHY he is acting like this!??!"   Mom I can tell you why - it was freakin' MIDNIGHT and No 3 year old should be shopping IN THE COOKIE aisle at midnight - ever - period - (how else can I emphasize this?).   Seems crazy right?!?    But when you take Junior shopping at nap time, or after a morning of swimming in the hot sun, or at 9:30 pm when bedtime was 8:30 pm it is just as ridiculous.

#2  Do Not under any circumstances offer bribes for being good.  This routine was not adapted for my family out of the wisdom of a Mom needing inducted to Sainthood - it happened out of necessity.  I was a stay-at-home Mom with 4 tiny kids -- We. Were. Broke! Suave Shampoo Broke!  Ramen Noodle Broke!  The girls didn't get to buy something every time we had to go into the gas station or the grocery store.  What they got was longer play-time outside or maybe Mom did the supper dishes and let them off the hook when they were good.  I didn't have the $ to buy them anything but I did have to reward awesome behavior.   I have also noticed many children drown out the loud speakers in department stores screaming for that purchase they are used to getting every time they went somewhere.  Trust me it's as embarrassing for us having to watch as it is for you.

#3  This is the hard one - and the most embarrassing.  But every child will test their boundaries - they want to see who is in charge.  The child who is an obedient sweet angel will become the most rotten human child alive when entering a store if they discover that you will do ANYTHING to make them stop screaming!  Again I understand this requires time to do such a thing, but early on ... when they test you ...  Stop what you're doing.  Give the cart to an employee of the store and apologize profusely, but Leave The Store.  Drive all the way home if necessary.  Deal with it in the parking lot if the child is receptive.  But Instantly take away their trump card (your exasperation and embarrassment).  Go to a private neutral place - discipline your child with whatever method you use (No I'm not opening that can of worms on this post -- just BE consistent with whatever method you Do use),  and then explain to them you're going back in right now.  That this process will not stop until you have secured all of your groceries and they act good at the same time.  Honestly you will only have to to this once or twice per child before they realize you mean business and if they really want to get home to play they need to endure this trip.

#4  If your child has special needs of any kind and you know that this situation will set her off, there is no shame in getting a baby sitter every time you need to go.   If they don't like loud noises, then they would be happier at home with a baby sitter than at the junior high basketball game where everyone is screaming and yelling packed into the smallest gym in town!   Be honest about your limitations, your child's limitations, the setting you will be attending, and make arrangements.  It really is okay.  We all understand. We've been there.

#5 Lastly - If you've been there .... give that struggling Mom some grace when her kid is flopping like a fish in aisle 3 or if they are busting the light bulbs all over the store.  We were all there once.  Our kids weren't perfect - and None of us were the Perfect Mom.   Don't walk up and tell her that if she spanked her kid more he wouldn't be like that.  You're just being rude.  All you have really exposed is the fact that you have so much agitation inside your heart that you cannot be flexible at any moment - for anyone.  You are likely worse than the toddler you are complaining about!

But most of the time I've just noticed that we've sabotaged ourselves for shopping trips because we don't plan ahead - we aren't organized and leave ourselves NO choice but to have to go into Walmart after all day of swimming because we are completely out of toilet paper or milk  and bread and something for supper, or some other necessity.  Form a babysitting swap with a close friend!  When you need to do that grocery shopping trip that will take more than an hour ....  arrange a play date and then reciprocate for your friend when She needs to go.

Parenting is hard - But You'll get through it we all did.  You will learn tricks along the way and what worked for Suzie Snazzy Pants will probably not work for you.  Don't feel bad - She probably burned the lasagna last night anyway!

Blessings for today ya'll - we need it every day!

Heather

P.S. This adorable little is my grandson.  His Mama has learned, just like her Mama - sometimes the hard way, when is the best time to shop with his little self .... and when  (like this picture) would be a good time to rescue the chocolate stash he found and put him to bed for a nap!  LOL  precious little thing

Move-in Day!

Well I did it! Dropped another one off at college and I survived! When we dropped my oldest off I cried almost 6 hours on the way back home. Did I just love her more? Of course not. Was it because she was my first and I had never had to do such a thing? ... In part yes. But the more children I let go of the more I learn that I really don't "owe" them all of the things this world has told me I do - nor do they necessarily Want them! My job is to raise them, able to walk on their own two feet, to love them, to introduce them to the Lord and His word, and beyond that I am obligated to give them a Mom who knows God and who can live without them and can live without meddling in their business. It's time for them to step out there and fly ... Or land in a pile of doo!  If I spend an over abundance of time hovering and involved then I will not be able to be stable with God. I have too many kids to be reaching out 5 different directions and hovering 5 different ways. And still find time to meet The Lord every day like I am supposed to. I also have neglected my husband far too long for trying to prevent consequences from reaching my kids.  When I got married - I immediately moved away from my parents. It was nice because at that point I had my own life and I knew it was not their responsibility to keep our relationship going - it was mine. I called -daily sometimes, and I went back as much as I could. I loved them and they loved me. They prayed for me and cheered me along. If I would have always expected them to perform to my expectations, I would have always been unhappy with them. 

This time I have learned that it's time - let her go - not because I'm smarter or because I love her more or less than the others. This time I know that being a  believer devoted to prayer is more important than care packages and giving advice. When the time is right she will call me. She will come see me. They all will eventually. 

This time is time to be the wife who has finally heard from God and from her man and let all of the children fall into place. 

Sigh -- now I need to give some thought to an 8 year old birthday party in 4 days! 8 years old - one of my favorite ages of children ever - and this time I can enjoy it without raising a group of children. It isn't better or worse it's just new -- and I'm one really lucky lady to get to experience both extremes in my parenting years! 

Good Luck to my new college freshman! I love you Lots - will cry some tears missing you - and will be there to visit as soon as I can!  

Mama

The Eyes of the Father

The eyes of the Father. My earthly Father didn't have this affect on everyone .  I don't know - maybe there are times and generations where God purposes people to bond in more urgent ways than he does others. I mean, that would be a role model for His relationship to us. The Lord may become very intimately known as The Comforter to my brother, while he is the voice of courage to me. Both are good but only really felt by one or the other. 

There were times when my Dad locked eyes with my teenage self that I knew no matter how good of a liar I might be, and whether or not he actually called me out on it ... He just knew. I knew that he did,and I was ashamed. This look from his eyes was something to be avoided. To this day I cannot mow the yard on a riding lawn mower without almost cringing.  

I think I was probably 17 and I had to mow that huge yard "again". I thought he was getting parts from town so I hopped on that lawn mower and opened it up almost up to Road Gear! When all of a sudden I heard him hoop at me from the back porch. I stopped the mower and turned it off.  When I looked up at him I may as well have been looking into the eyes of the Lion above.  "Why don't you slow that damned thing down and give the blade a chance to actually CUT the grass?!?" 

My Dad used curse words in front of me maybe 6 times in my whole life. 

 Today I own my Own lawn mower and have my Own grass that can be cut however I want to cut it, and yet if I push that throttle up past 3rd gear I cringe and anticipate hearing my Dad's voice frustrated with me again.  

But then the same eyes as above, can be the entire source of courage for me as I head to the free throw line in a basketball game. I was TERRIBLE at free throws. It wasn't my ability - it was my mind. But I remember looking at him in the crowd - him wearing almost the same expression as that lawn mower day and I got complete reassurance. 

Then there was the night I was desperately trying to convince him that I NEEDED to have my curfew be way later than midnight.  I plead my case, but when he gave me that eye and said "Young Lady - you and I both know there is nothing out there to be done after midnight that isn't either illegal or immoral and there isn't a good enough argument to get me to agree to you doing all that!" I had no rebuttal. He knew - and I couldn't deny it. 

The day he walked me down the aisle. He had my hand curled around his bicep - his other hand covering mine. "Are you ready sugar?" Oh I so wish I would have walked slower, looked him in the eye a little longer. It was love, courage, protection all wrapped into one stare. 

Then there was the day I looked down upon him as they wheeled him away on a stretcher for brain surgery. He was weak and it was risky. The urgency in those same eyes at that moment - I mean I have no PROOF of what he was trying to say to me -- But I know. When he said I love you. It might have been the only word he said verbally, but I heard a lot more.  

There were a lot of ways my dad and I communicated. But I remember those eyes.   There is a lot of ways I communicate with the Lord - but there is One way that is unmistakeable. God the Father getting a word to me and it is emphasized, highlighted if you will. 

You may not have had an earthly father involved in your life, but chances are there was Someone. Someone who could get your attention quicker than anyone else. All of life here on earth is set to be a road map, an example, or a role model if you will for lessons and or relationship with Him.  

Search the relationships with those around you - ask the Lord to speak to you, what relationship is He using to teach you the most about Him right now? Your best friend? Your  boss? Your parent ? Maybe it's your spouse or your child?  Ask to see special things that you may be missing right now! What attributes of God are being displayed in your life by those who are given to you for refinement? 

Blessings for today ya'll 

Heather 

Look at her ... Like she was a Good Mom or something.

Here it is. That event I warned you about in the introduction blog. The "when I offend someone - because it Will happen" post. That I know of I made it 5 posts in before I offended someone. It may have been the very first one.  I waited several days. You will be tempted to think this post is addressing you. This post is addressing me. I called a friend and she said "ya - hang on a second WHO am I speaking to again? Because this is Not MY friend Heather. You are repeating all these accusations and you are not taking every thought captive. You were a GOOD Mom I was there!"  I prayed about this and here are some things I learned.  Not all but some. 

To obey Christ. Really it's all I Want to do even if my big ol' self gets in the way sometimes.  So I am taking every thought captive. - was I a Good mom - Am I still? Yes. I have lived my heart for my girls. Did I do it right all the time? No - Did I apologize when I felt lead? Yes so ... "Look at her blogging like she was a GOOD Mom and we are only 5 posts in." ... After prayer And Godly counsel - I cannot pick up that baggage. I did what I knew to do at the time. Including today. I was a good Mom and I'm okay. 

  "Like nothing was ever her fault or anything."  Plenty was my fault. But God does not lay condemnation on someone forever - he has taken it from me and I cannot carry their offenses for them. 

"I can't stand her - she's crazy." I raised 4 strong willed girls - still raising another - to say I didn't jump into a puddle of crazy and splash around occasionally would be ludicrous. But I don't live there. Eventually my Dad comes along and offers me His hand and says time to stop playing in the mud - come on"  once or twice I may have splashed a few more times before taking His hand and walking out whole again - I mean my strong-willed girls got it from somewhere!  But honestly ... 

I lived a few decades trapped by what I let the 10% do to me and I'm not going back there. If You have an offense toward me and I know I have apologized and done the best I can. I have to leave them holding their own baggage and cannot even stand beside them begging them  to see why they need to put it down. 

Once I have taken every thought captive I have to choose love. Sometimes that means I have to let go of the dream I created in my own mind. 

I can only answer to Him. HE paid the price to set me free. If you are standing there throwing stones at me- I have to stop resisting letting Jesus step in front of me and let him take every blow.  

The way my children turn out is not a direct reflection of my parenting, the baggage they carry - they reached down to pick up ... Just like I did. Although,  for the most part my kids are more fantastic than I am! 😊 Get to know them. But if at some point they have splashed around in their own puddle of crazy it's because the 90% in their life is controlling them right now. Even if they are 7 that's a battle I can only pray about - it's their battle to wage.  

What I DO know is that although this verse is for Esther's biggest moment of her life, it applies to entire chapters in your life and speaks to me greatly in this season. 

 

So there it is - the first fiery dart thrown and I have weighed it agains God's word and prayer , with Godly counsel and it has been found wanting... 

To the people who ASKED me to write - this is me - this is where I am. Hopefully it gives you a beginning on how to examine yourself when accused. But don't follow what I did because God is individual and He will meet you in places I cannot  even find - and visa versa.  

I have so much to do dealing with my 10% that happens to me I cannot take on your accusations or that's when a big 'ol puddle of crazy sneaks up and invites me to jump in. This time I don't take the bait- this time I walk around it: 

Blessings for today ya'll - we need them every day. 

Heather 

Product Reviews

Those of us with big families know that sometimes when you're purchasing something it's going to get one good use and that's about all you're hoping from said investment!  However, there are other times when you would like for something to surprise you .... just occasionally!  Last longer than one use or even a month and it will be fantastic!

I'm going to highlight a particular purchase I made recently to let you know there ARE products out there that will hold up, store owners and vendors that care about their work.

A Couple Months ago I purchased a key fob on Etsy. Yes I chose the font and the fabric but I guess I have a fantasy complex thinking if it is fabulous in my head it will be in real life as well.  The store owner created a sub-par product. paper thin ... personalization hard to read ... and held up for about a hot minute.  In case you can't make it out it says Girlsx5.

I decided to give it one more try. I went back to Etsy and picked what I thought looked like a more sturdy material by description and pictures.  Added personalization.  Low and behold I received a message stating.  "The G in this font looks a little funky.  I wanted to have you proof it just to be sure it's what you wanted.  I have included a couple samples in the color you want done in different fonts.  Let me know which ones you like best."

I chose the top one and a few days later received this beauty in the mail box.  

 It is super sturdy - fits around my wrist and she took the time to be sure I had what I wanted.  I highly recommend Tiffany at modthirteen  (click the word - link should be attached!) Etsy shop if you have anything that you would like to have created and personalized!    Here's to you Tiffany ... Applause and whistles and cheers for a job well done!

And yes ... clearly, my 7 year old picks my keys! :)


Blessings for today ya'll!
Heather

College Bound!

This month has a lot going on for us! Several children are leaving home all at once!  I hear my friends fretting about letting their babies go off to college, and yet one friend said "I'm tellin' you, I'm going to miss my son something Terrible! But I mean to tell ya' he has found every button in me and PUSHes them ALL. DAY. LONG!"

I'm here to tell you -- it's a gift from God! It happens almost every time! Sometimes I think the stronger the bond the more treacherous the relationship right before a (necessary) separation! Whether You feel like you have or not, THEY have to cut the cord. In kids who have loyalty in their veins, they want to separate so bad to become an adult and they just don't know how to do it without feeling disloyal! So they begin to find faults with you " I know you won't let me" or "you won't approve of my choices"  so they begin to reject you in tiny ways. Sometimes in big ways. Sometimes there's a big "WELL I'M LEAVING!" moment. Mom - listen to me close. You will cry. You will feel rejected and you will feel cut to the core - even if you KNOW this in your head, your heart wants every last day to be singing the Barney theme song "I Love You! You Love Me! We're a happy family..." (You sang that didn't you?) but your college bound - or adult bound children push buttons - a lot of them! Very rarely are we able to ignore it. Even though they are convinced they have you figured out - you can't help it. You see several things that are going to cause them a LOT of trouble and you really want to fix that so they can avoid the heartache coming!

My first daughter went to Chattanooga, TN to play softball and go to college. She told me later she did a whole lot more playing ball than focusing on college! LOL leading up to dropping her off we screamed we cried and I felt like my heart was being ripped out. We drove the 900 miles or so to drop her off, everyone took vacation and we took several cars out there to celebrate her jump into adulthood!

Bear with me I KNOW this is irrational. But I feared the moment we would leave the WHOLE way out there.  You see no matter what was logical - my mothers heart said. I have to take this kid out there and Leave her. And I WANT to. I know it's good. I know she is happy! But I also know there will come a moment when I will TURN MY BACK ON MY CHILD AND GET IN THE CAR AND LEAVE HER!!! When that moment came it felt like betrayal and I cried all the way across Tennessee to probably Memphis. Everyone was quiet and my husband tried to comfort me which only made me cry harder. But eventually I was okay (my contacts had to be thrown away but I was okay) and I got through that year without doing all of the things a helicopter parent should do! I was horrible at care packages (there was no Pinterest then), and didn't call nearly as much as I should! But she was fine! If you know my oldest you would say OF COURSE she was! Of all my children she is the most driven, the most able to push herself to the limits! But it was hard!

People say "you must be an old pro by now!"  Yes and no. I can deal with the irrational a little better but each child is different! So many special memories! So much hope and potential! And nights spent holding them! Singing to them! Protecting them! When we drive to AR here in a few weeks I might take her favorite childhood book and hold her and sing it to her one more time! I mean the other kids in the dorm would say "Awwww" right?  RIGHT?!

Okay I won't but maybe I want to! True to His character God has brought several of my girls and myself to the gift of pushing each other's buttons so we can let go of each other. But I'm here to tell you, separating this Mama and her girls is not easy. Necessary but not easy. I love them all!

Moms we will get through this! It's a good thing!! Now - someone bring me a Kleenex - cheesecake - and Mint tea!! I need comforting!

Blessings for today!
Heather

My Oldest Catching at Chattanooga State 2008

My 4th Daughter ... Off to become a Mulerider here in a few weeks. :) 

Me? Mrs. Valiant??

I have 5 girls.  Four of them are Type A or as I call them Extroverts.  My third is like her Daddy, an introvert.  Oh sure, the rest of them have come up with relevant terms for themselves .... "The Introverted Extrovert" etc., but for the most part what I am referring to is that when push comes to shove, they are the ones who will do the pushin' and shovin' if you get my drift.

Of course I admit, confess, and own up to the fact that I am pretty much responsible for all of that strength, bossiness, pushin', shovin' or whatever you have to call it. I am Type A myself after all, and while yes I made many mistakes parenting over the years - when your first 4 children are all girls and are all 2 or 2.5 years apart SOMEone has to be in charge, command the ship, be the drill sergeant, ... well you get the picture. I was a stay-at-home mom for 12 years and it was me who had to command some form of order.

Imagine if you will, 3 loud(ish) sisters, all clamoring to be in charge of what little domain they could claim.  One by bossiness (typical oldest child trying to get everyone to be good), one by rebellion (typical second child not ABOUT to do anything the oldest thinks is needed), one by manipulation (typical of the baby of the family ... at that point)  and there's you.  Introvert. Quiet. A child of few words. I have always wondered what this child thought of this family of hers.  I could imagine her off in her bedroom or in a corner reciting "Not my circus, Not my Monkeys" trying desperately to tune us out while Mom eventually cracks the whip to get everyone to shape up and get dinner on the table for Dad so we could eat the old fashioned way - Together.

Fast forward several years, all of these wonderful girls have either graduated and are out on their own or married with a career and  finishing up high school.  OH the Type A-ness has been magnified several times over each time one went through puberty. The disagreements were louder, and yet the laughter more boisterous.  Another baby sister arrived ten years after everyone thought we were done! Still, my introvert will say things like "she's great" when asked about her Mom.  Another phrase she would say is "it's fine", when asked how she likes being a big sister.

At one point, I made it a habit to Force the flow of conversation at the supper table to cease long enough to ask "Ruthie - how was your day?"  Sometimes we would get a story, but most of the time we would just simply get "good!"  In a world where perception is everything I often wondered how my girls perceived me.  I knew it wouldn't always be rosy - shoot I frustrate myself sometimes but still I wondered what kind of impression I was leaving on my girls.

When Ruthie moved into Sunday School classes as an adult instead of a youth she instinctively chose a teacher who is meek and wonderful and wise and self-controlled.  A woman I love and affectionately call my Spiritual Mother.  A woman more like Ruthie than like me.  I didn't think much of it until one Sunday this lady came to me grinning.  They were reading Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnand, if you've never read this book it is really worth your time. The main Character is named Much-Afraid.  At one point she is in peril, held against her will by the Fearing family and she calls Mrs. Valiant for help.  Mrs. Valiant rushes into the situation clearing the room.  Fearing nothing and certainly not the Fearing family and threatening to turn them in to the ultimate authority, The Good Shepherd. She feels the authority to go straight to the top and displays wisdom in dealing with Much-Afraid.  She sets things right in a whirlwind, volunteers her whole family to help Much-Afraid, and shows complete trust in the Good Shepherd to take care of Much Afraid even without her continued involvement.  The teacher tells me that while the class is discussing this chapter, out of no where my daughter of very few words boldly blurts out "That Mrs. Valiant, Shes JUST like MY MOTHER!"

Honestly, I was speechless. Really?!  My quiet child who grew up in chaos and loud rukus of life in the Westover family.   She sees Me as Mrs. Valiant?!  I mean the rushing in like a whirlwind, not being intimidated or fearing anyone, and having the confidence to volunteer her whole family for a task she is sure they will support her in.  That sounds like me.  The gentleness and wisdom of dealing with Much-Afraid, and complete trust in the Good Shepherd to take care of the child without her continued involvement, does NOT sound like something I've mastered even today!  But there it was - the proclamation from the child who watched more than she participated in our family dynamics.

I have examined myself many times from this event.  Yes - Yes I AM like Mrs. Valiant.  I have come to realize that I am a strong woman. I am intimidated by and fear very little (except maybe snakes).  Do I WANT to be wise and gentle? Yes! But it's still a work-in-progress.  Do I Want to let God be God without me Helping!?  Yes but again its not been mastered.

I challenge you to see yourself as others see you but don't get bogged down.  See yourself the way God sees you.  Just the right height, eye color, born into the right family, and just like Much-Afraid by the end of the book, able to be completely transformed even physically by knowing and submitting to the Good Shepherd!  It's amazing and prophetic the words she blurted out over me when I wasn't even there!  But I've examined myself against it and am blessed. I've had to deal with the fact that I'm not the Mercy-Filled one people want to come to when needing coddled. But that's okay because if they wanted coddled in the midst of their folly I would destroy us both most likely.

Below is a picture of my girls with me.  Introductions to each will come later, but Ruthie is second from the left in the purple scarf.  Sweet girl.  I can't wait to see where they all land in this adventure God has set them out on.  I wonder if they see themselves as Much-Afraid or as another character?

Blessings for Today
Heather

Just Like Your Mother!

 I have a pretty good relationship with all of my girls but No daughter really wants to hear that she is just like her mother, especially as a teenager!  I cannot remember the topic or I would preface this story with the ever so important way I Was Right! But alas, that's rarely ever the point is it?!

The family was at the table - where most of our wonderful events occur. My daughter was proclaiming something. I proved her wrong ... Everyone was giggling and she smiled & made a lessor proclamation about the same event.  More laughter and again I shot that down. 

"Mama stop!" She said with a wry grin and sarcastic laughter "I just can't be 100% wrong on this!!"  

Instantly my spirit went BOOM does this sound familiar? On a surface level because I'm totally like that ... Hence the proving her wrong the second time...  But on a deeper level I'm that way with God. 

OK God you're right but just don't leave it where I'm 100% wrong okay?!? 

If that's where I live doesn't that mean I say to God "just don't be 100% right God!"  

I'll answer that for you - yes it does 

And without skipping a beat, my beloved husband laughs and says "Boy are YOU your Mother's daughter!" 

BOOM second earthquake in my spirit! I mean geez what was I passing on to my kids here? My heartbeat? My legacy?!   Some call it a generational sin - others call it a genetic curse and others .... You're Just like your Mother! 

Pick your poison - call it what you want it's bad! To my future son-in-law I'm sorry! LOL but also to my daughter - "Stop!! The Bridge is out!! Go the other way!" 

Stop now in your teens! Fall to your knees and acknowledge God is 100% right and you CAN be 100% Wrong! God forgive me! 

Lastly - to follow up- ... At the risk of creating Team Corey for having to be married to a wretch like me.  Corey Came along JUST like the enemy does. With probably the Last thing a person wants to hear- tempting you to focus on him and being mad at him for saying such a thing instead of feeling the earthquake in your spirit and finding the Truth! It would have been so easy not to ponder on that for 2 days and digging out truths. To just growl under my breath "what's wrong with him? Doesn't he know girls don't want to hear that? Oh and I suppose he's implying I'm just like MY mother! Because I'm not you know! " 

Yes I am - I'm just like every woman in my ancestery. Human and flawed and selfish trying to do better than the last generation.   In desperate need of God to right this ship! 

Blessings for today

Heather 

Introduction

Honestly I'm starting out like all other bloggers.  I don't know anything about this.  I am unsatisfied with Social Media as a whole but I do find writing my thoughts and yes my opinions down therapeutic!  You may wonder if I've lost my mind at times - others you may find me genius!
I currently work at Shepherd's Fold Ranch and at times I feel very useful and other times I feel I don't know what I'm doing at all.  I suspect we all have this relationship with our jobs.

The reason I have a "job" and not a career is because I have been given the charge of stewarding 5 little souls who were always more important than a career for me.  I admire the others who feel called to be both a career woman as well as a Mom, but for me it was never to be.  I think God does this on purpose for some as well as other issues like -- to breast feed or not -- to let your kids go on sleep-overs or not and other universe altering important factors of mothering.  There may be times where I would say something out of ignorance of the life required to accomplish things different than the life God set me up on but it will not be to insult you or to put you down.  If I disagree with something you will almost always find me to say "I disagree" or some other intolerant form of establishing the "so you have no question where I stand" atmosphere.

I have been married for 26 years, soon-to-be 27 this September. It hasn't all been good but would I call this man the love of my life? Yes! This man who can frustrate me to no end, and make me feel like I am constantly trying to nail Jello to a tree is also the one I cannot give up on.  To this date no matter what the challenge and road block - even when I wanted to - even when I sat down to mentally separate us, there was no way. I honestly think it would be easier to remove the Westover from some of our girls - or the Nuttall from some of the others than it would be to remove Corey and I from each other.

We have given birth to 5 daughters.  This month 2 of the first 4 will be leaving home.  One to 'become an adult' in the Nashville, TN area and the other to play college softball at Southern Arkansas University in Magnolia, AR. Go Muleriders! (LOL More on this great mascot later)  Our first child is in school becoming an RN and maybe further after that.  Our second is a dog groomer in a local community with a fantastic clientele that appreciate her as much as she loves their pets. She has given us the first of what I assume will be more than a dozen grandchildren over the course of our lifetime and we are wild about them.

Left at home - twisting us around her little finger will be the daughter of our "old age".  Being pregnant at 37 was NOTHING like being pregnant in my 20's.  Neither was the recovery.  But neither is the parenting. Things are sweeter, more precious, and more fun, because this time I know how fast it goes. This time I know how sour it can turn for seasons.  And while that is normal to a degree for all Mother/Daughter relationships, it still hurts. That makes these days so much more precious - I guard them more - and take it in more because This time I know they grow up. She is 7 - soon to be 8 and all of her sisters rolled into one God-Bless-Her.

You may not identify with me - you may have all boys.  You may have one child. You may have a career AND a family. Or you may just have a career.  Hopefully we can be of encouragement to each other, enlighten each other, and get through this thing together.

Blessings for today,
Heather