I'm here to tell you -- it's a gift from God! It happens almost every time! Sometimes I think the stronger the bond the more treacherous the relationship right before a (necessary) separation! Whether You feel like you have or not, THEY have to cut the cord. In kids who have loyalty in their veins, they want to separate so bad to become an adult and they just don't know how to do it without feeling disloyal! So they begin to find faults with you " I know you won't let me" or "you won't approve of my choices" so they begin to reject you in tiny ways. Sometimes in big ways. Sometimes there's a big "WELL I'M LEAVING!" moment. Mom - listen to me close. You will cry. You will feel rejected and you will feel cut to the core - even if you KNOW this in your head, your heart wants every last day to be singing the Barney theme song "I Love You! You Love Me! We're a happy family..." (You sang that didn't you?) but your college bound - or adult bound children push buttons - a lot of them! Very rarely are we able to ignore it. Even though they are convinced they have you figured out - you can't help it. You see several things that are going to cause them a LOT of trouble and you really want to fix that so they can avoid the heartache coming!
My first daughter went to Chattanooga, TN to play softball and go to college. She told me later she did a whole lot more playing ball than focusing on college! LOL leading up to dropping her off we screamed we cried and I felt like my heart was being ripped out. We drove the 900 miles or so to drop her off, everyone took vacation and we took several cars out there to celebrate her jump into adulthood!
Bear with me I KNOW this is irrational. But I feared the moment we would leave the WHOLE way out there. You see no matter what was logical - my mothers heart said. I have to take this kid out there and Leave her. And I WANT to. I know it's good. I know she is happy! But I also know there will come a moment when I will TURN MY BACK ON MY CHILD AND GET IN THE CAR AND LEAVE HER!!! When that moment came it felt like betrayal and I cried all the way across Tennessee to probably Memphis. Everyone was quiet and my husband tried to comfort me which only made me cry harder. But eventually I was okay (my contacts had to be thrown away but I was okay) and I got through that year without doing all of the things a helicopter parent should do! I was horrible at care packages (there was no Pinterest then), and didn't call nearly as much as I should! But she was fine! If you know my oldest you would say OF COURSE she was! Of all my children she is the most driven, the most able to push herself to the limits! But it was hard!
People say "you must be an old pro by now!" Yes and no. I can deal with the irrational a little better but each child is different! So many special memories! So much hope and potential! And nights spent holding them! Singing to them! Protecting them! When we drive to AR here in a few weeks I might take her favorite childhood book and hold her and sing it to her one more time! I mean the other kids in the dorm would say "Awwww" right? RIGHT?!
Okay I won't but maybe I want to! True to His character God has brought several of my girls and myself to the gift of pushing each other's buttons so we can let go of each other. But I'm here to tell you, separating this Mama and her girls is not easy. Necessary but not easy. I love them all!
Moms we will get through this! It's a good thing!! Now - someone bring me a Kleenex - cheesecake - and Mint tea!! I need comforting!
Blessings for today!
Heather
My Oldest Catching at Chattanooga State 2008
My 4th Daughter ... Off to become a Mulerider here in a few weeks. :) 
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