Palm Trees in Oklahoma

Week 3 campers all checked in at Shepherd's Fold and snuggled into ... Well never mind they are dividing into their tribes for competition week 😂 

But me?? Because apparently if there is a plant on clearance for $1 I MUST buy it.  Then when I get the dang palm tree (or 3) home and my husband says "Heather that doesn't look like a FARM" 🤔🤔🤔

I am too stubborn not to stick it in the ground.  I mean ... 

It said it would be GREAT shade

 ✅ we need that in OK 

It said it needs low water 

✅✅ because it's OK and well ... I'm me! 

And it said it was $1

✅✅✅✅✅ because well - that's awesome! 

So I made Corey show me where the "permanent" chicken coop would go.  I jumped up and down on my shovel in the Osage County rock bed as the moon quickly becomes my only companion ... 

 ... I'll let you know how palm trees grow in rock.  And if they decide to embarrass me and take ---- I'll rename my rooster ... 

A-Hab The A-Rab ... 🎤🎤🎤 the sheik of the burnin' sands 

After the Ray Stevens song.  

I mean those chickens will have the most luxurious shade in all of Osage county if this thing (these 3 things) take off! 

Now - I have to go tell my husband it isn't polite to pray against all your wife's hard work!  

And .... To remind myself that THIS is my workout. Working in the yard - with the animals - that's how I burn calories.   Don't remind me I should be doing more of that and just tune in later to see if there's Palm Trees in Osage County!! 

It could be like magic beans after all!!! 

Nashville's Newest Star

Well that's it - we've dropped her off, I can't imagine why her new employer wants such a little bit for a new employee... What's that you say? She is in  her  20's?? That's funny, because no matter how many times I blinked, this is what my eyes saw when we drove away. 

When my kids were little I couldn't wait to see what they would be when they grew up, but now all I can see is what they were.  

I have cried so many tears over the last few weeks. So many well meaning people have told me to just "let them go."  Well, what makes you think I'm not willing?! The grieving of my family unit not being the same ever again doesn't mean I wish to hold them back. The presence of tears doesn't mean I won't let go, it means I have let go and am processing the sorrow of missing them so I can Rejoice in the success of their dreams. 

When people walk through something, please know that what you think you see may not actually be what you assume. . Your words of "advice" without experience are delivered with good intentions but really serve more as a burden to the intended.  If you want to help, bring a tub of ice cream and 2 spoons.  Sit with me while I grieve, because tomorrow you will be the first to be invited to a celebration of their successes! My kids are fantastic and there will be reason to celebrate in the morning! 

That Child Needs a Whoopin!

How many times have you been in public and see a toddler or even a young child completely melt down?  How often has someone in your group or someone within ear shot spout off "That Child just needs a good old fashion whoopin!"

Being a Mom is hard.  Being a Mom to toddlers (especially several) is even harder!  Throw in a child with special needs and BAM!  There's a recipe for a temper tantrum of epic proportions right there in aisle 3! Occasionally it's even Mom throwing that fit but hey! We all know how that feels right!

When my first set of children were little there were 4 of them all under the age of about 6 1/2.  Trips to Walmart could get hairy.  I was a stay-at-home Mom so I had the freedom to be a little bit more wise about my shopping times.  Yes I took all 4 with me to do grocery shopping.  Yes we occasionally had a melt down, but compared to the number of trips we made I'm going to say my girls and I were fairly successful at getting our shopping done without being a burden on the other shoppers in the store.

I'm writing this entry not to chastise moms out there but to offer some options to make your shopping trips successful and even enjoyable. If you are a working Mom, this will be a little more challenging for you but you can do it!  This post is not directed at the 'stop buy after work because we have no toilet paper in the house and that's all I need to get' trips - those are a necessity and even the most tired toddler can take a 3 minute trip to the TP aisle and back home again!

#1 NEVER take your child shopping when they are tired - period. No but this or that, Don't do it.  I can't tell you how many toddlers I have had to steer my shopping cart around flopping in the aisle and the weary Mom looks up at me and says "He's so tired!" with a helpless smile.    *** Side Note --- Not too long ago I was in Walmart and heard a child screaming.  Parents yelling at each other "I don't know WHY he is acting like this!??!"   Mom I can tell you why - it was freakin' MIDNIGHT and No 3 year old should be shopping IN THE COOKIE aisle at midnight - ever - period - (how else can I emphasize this?).   Seems crazy right?!?    But when you take Junior shopping at nap time, or after a morning of swimming in the hot sun, or at 9:30 pm when bedtime was 8:30 pm it is just as ridiculous.

#2  Do Not under any circumstances offer bribes for being good.  This routine was not adapted for my family out of the wisdom of a Mom needing inducted to Sainthood - it happened out of necessity.  I was a stay-at-home Mom with 4 tiny kids -- We. Were. Broke! Suave Shampoo Broke!  Ramen Noodle Broke!  The girls didn't get to buy something every time we had to go into the gas station or the grocery store.  What they got was longer play-time outside or maybe Mom did the supper dishes and let them off the hook when they were good.  I didn't have the $ to buy them anything but I did have to reward awesome behavior.   I have also noticed many children drown out the loud speakers in department stores screaming for that purchase they are used to getting every time they went somewhere.  Trust me it's as embarrassing for us having to watch as it is for you.

#3  This is the hard one - and the most embarrassing.  But every child will test their boundaries - they want to see who is in charge.  The child who is an obedient sweet angel will become the most rotten human child alive when entering a store if they discover that you will do ANYTHING to make them stop screaming!  Again I understand this requires time to do such a thing, but early on ... when they test you ...  Stop what you're doing.  Give the cart to an employee of the store and apologize profusely, but Leave The Store.  Drive all the way home if necessary.  Deal with it in the parking lot if the child is receptive.  But Instantly take away their trump card (your exasperation and embarrassment).  Go to a private neutral place - discipline your child with whatever method you use (No I'm not opening that can of worms on this post -- just BE consistent with whatever method you Do use),  and then explain to them you're going back in right now.  That this process will not stop until you have secured all of your groceries and they act good at the same time.  Honestly you will only have to to this once or twice per child before they realize you mean business and if they really want to get home to play they need to endure this trip.

#4  If your child has special needs of any kind and you know that this situation will set her off, there is no shame in getting a baby sitter every time you need to go.   If they don't like loud noises, then they would be happier at home with a baby sitter than at the junior high basketball game where everyone is screaming and yelling packed into the smallest gym in town!   Be honest about your limitations, your child's limitations, the setting you will be attending, and make arrangements.  It really is okay.  We all understand. We've been there.

#5 Lastly - If you've been there .... give that struggling Mom some grace when her kid is flopping like a fish in aisle 3 or if they are busting the light bulbs all over the store.  We were all there once.  Our kids weren't perfect - and None of us were the Perfect Mom.   Don't walk up and tell her that if she spanked her kid more he wouldn't be like that.  You're just being rude.  All you have really exposed is the fact that you have so much agitation inside your heart that you cannot be flexible at any moment - for anyone.  You are likely worse than the toddler you are complaining about!

But most of the time I've just noticed that we've sabotaged ourselves for shopping trips because we don't plan ahead - we aren't organized and leave ourselves NO choice but to have to go into Walmart after all day of swimming because we are completely out of toilet paper or milk  and bread and something for supper, or some other necessity.  Form a babysitting swap with a close friend!  When you need to do that grocery shopping trip that will take more than an hour ....  arrange a play date and then reciprocate for your friend when She needs to go.

Parenting is hard - But You'll get through it we all did.  You will learn tricks along the way and what worked for Suzie Snazzy Pants will probably not work for you.  Don't feel bad - She probably burned the lasagna last night anyway!

Blessings for today ya'll - we need it every day!

Heather

P.S. This adorable little is my grandson.  His Mama has learned, just like her Mama - sometimes the hard way, when is the best time to shop with his little self .... and when  (like this picture) would be a good time to rescue the chocolate stash he found and put him to bed for a nap!  LOL  precious little thing

College Bound!

This month has a lot going on for us! Several children are leaving home all at once!  I hear my friends fretting about letting their babies go off to college, and yet one friend said "I'm tellin' you, I'm going to miss my son something Terrible! But I mean to tell ya' he has found every button in me and PUSHes them ALL. DAY. LONG!"

I'm here to tell you -- it's a gift from God! It happens almost every time! Sometimes I think the stronger the bond the more treacherous the relationship right before a (necessary) separation! Whether You feel like you have or not, THEY have to cut the cord. In kids who have loyalty in their veins, they want to separate so bad to become an adult and they just don't know how to do it without feeling disloyal! So they begin to find faults with you " I know you won't let me" or "you won't approve of my choices"  so they begin to reject you in tiny ways. Sometimes in big ways. Sometimes there's a big "WELL I'M LEAVING!" moment. Mom - listen to me close. You will cry. You will feel rejected and you will feel cut to the core - even if you KNOW this in your head, your heart wants every last day to be singing the Barney theme song "I Love You! You Love Me! We're a happy family..." (You sang that didn't you?) but your college bound - or adult bound children push buttons - a lot of them! Very rarely are we able to ignore it. Even though they are convinced they have you figured out - you can't help it. You see several things that are going to cause them a LOT of trouble and you really want to fix that so they can avoid the heartache coming!

My first daughter went to Chattanooga, TN to play softball and go to college. She told me later she did a whole lot more playing ball than focusing on college! LOL leading up to dropping her off we screamed we cried and I felt like my heart was being ripped out. We drove the 900 miles or so to drop her off, everyone took vacation and we took several cars out there to celebrate her jump into adulthood!

Bear with me I KNOW this is irrational. But I feared the moment we would leave the WHOLE way out there.  You see no matter what was logical - my mothers heart said. I have to take this kid out there and Leave her. And I WANT to. I know it's good. I know she is happy! But I also know there will come a moment when I will TURN MY BACK ON MY CHILD AND GET IN THE CAR AND LEAVE HER!!! When that moment came it felt like betrayal and I cried all the way across Tennessee to probably Memphis. Everyone was quiet and my husband tried to comfort me which only made me cry harder. But eventually I was okay (my contacts had to be thrown away but I was okay) and I got through that year without doing all of the things a helicopter parent should do! I was horrible at care packages (there was no Pinterest then), and didn't call nearly as much as I should! But she was fine! If you know my oldest you would say OF COURSE she was! Of all my children she is the most driven, the most able to push herself to the limits! But it was hard!

People say "you must be an old pro by now!"  Yes and no. I can deal with the irrational a little better but each child is different! So many special memories! So much hope and potential! And nights spent holding them! Singing to them! Protecting them! When we drive to AR here in a few weeks I might take her favorite childhood book and hold her and sing it to her one more time! I mean the other kids in the dorm would say "Awwww" right?  RIGHT?!

Okay I won't but maybe I want to! True to His character God has brought several of my girls and myself to the gift of pushing each other's buttons so we can let go of each other. But I'm here to tell you, separating this Mama and her girls is not easy. Necessary but not easy. I love them all!

Moms we will get through this! It's a good thing!! Now - someone bring me a Kleenex - cheesecake - and Mint tea!! I need comforting!

Blessings for today!
Heather

My Oldest Catching at Chattanooga State 2008

My 4th Daughter ... Off to become a Mulerider here in a few weeks. :)