Look at her ... Like she was a Good Mom or something.

Here it is. That event I warned you about in the introduction blog. The "when I offend someone - because it Will happen" post. That I know of I made it 5 posts in before I offended someone. It may have been the very first one.  I waited several days. You will be tempted to think this post is addressing you. This post is addressing me. I called a friend and she said "ya - hang on a second WHO am I speaking to again? Because this is Not MY friend Heather. You are repeating all these accusations and you are not taking every thought captive. You were a GOOD Mom I was there!"  I prayed about this and here are some things I learned.  Not all but some. 

To obey Christ. Really it's all I Want to do even if my big ol' self gets in the way sometimes.  So I am taking every thought captive. - was I a Good mom - Am I still? Yes. I have lived my heart for my girls. Did I do it right all the time? No - Did I apologize when I felt lead? Yes so ... "Look at her blogging like she was a GOOD Mom and we are only 5 posts in." ... After prayer And Godly counsel - I cannot pick up that baggage. I did what I knew to do at the time. Including today. I was a good Mom and I'm okay. 

  "Like nothing was ever her fault or anything."  Plenty was my fault. But God does not lay condemnation on someone forever - he has taken it from me and I cannot carry their offenses for them. 

"I can't stand her - she's crazy." I raised 4 strong willed girls - still raising another - to say I didn't jump into a puddle of crazy and splash around occasionally would be ludicrous. But I don't live there. Eventually my Dad comes along and offers me His hand and says time to stop playing in the mud - come on"  once or twice I may have splashed a few more times before taking His hand and walking out whole again - I mean my strong-willed girls got it from somewhere!  But honestly ... 

I lived a few decades trapped by what I let the 10% do to me and I'm not going back there. If You have an offense toward me and I know I have apologized and done the best I can. I have to leave them holding their own baggage and cannot even stand beside them begging them  to see why they need to put it down. 

Once I have taken every thought captive I have to choose love. Sometimes that means I have to let go of the dream I created in my own mind. 

I can only answer to Him. HE paid the price to set me free. If you are standing there throwing stones at me- I have to stop resisting letting Jesus step in front of me and let him take every blow.  

The way my children turn out is not a direct reflection of my parenting, the baggage they carry - they reached down to pick up ... Just like I did. Although,  for the most part my kids are more fantastic than I am! 😊 Get to know them. But if at some point they have splashed around in their own puddle of crazy it's because the 90% in their life is controlling them right now. Even if they are 7 that's a battle I can only pray about - it's their battle to wage.  

What I DO know is that although this verse is for Esther's biggest moment of her life, it applies to entire chapters in your life and speaks to me greatly in this season. 

 

So there it is - the first fiery dart thrown and I have weighed it agains God's word and prayer , with Godly counsel and it has been found wanting... 

To the people who ASKED me to write - this is me - this is where I am. Hopefully it gives you a beginning on how to examine yourself when accused. But don't follow what I did because God is individual and He will meet you in places I cannot  even find - and visa versa.  

I have so much to do dealing with my 10% that happens to me I cannot take on your accusations or that's when a big 'ol puddle of crazy sneaks up and invites me to jump in. This time I don't take the bait- this time I walk around it: 

Blessings for today ya'll - we need them every day. 

Heather