Busy Mom - Full Schedule

Recently I had a request for a blog post.  How wonderful!  ... Except I have no answer for this request!

"Someday you should do a post about how you stayed organized and on top of things for all of those softball practices and places you had to be!?"

Right!!!  (insert the music from Jeopardy) .... A week or so  (or three) later I'm still trying to think about whether I was ever "organized".  I mean - we survived didn't we?  All my kids had at least acceptable grades??  They were able to function well even with lots of activities right?!?  We actually ate around the supper table more often than we ate out because I'm a nut about family time around the table. And yet all I can think of is how often we were in the big ol' middle of chaos!  Controlled Chaos I like to call it.  I was in control but JUST barely!

So - I'm going to list maybe the top 5 things that made me successful in this venture of raising 4 athletic very busy girls needing to be at practices and games all while dragging a much smaller little sister to every event!  Of course this is a parody of how the "Pinterest Mom" would have done things, but Hey!  I'm the Poster Girl for the Pinterest Fail ... Maybe even the Queen!!

From least to greatest ...

5.  The ability to tune out the chaos of the house.  You have to be able to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer - to the couch.  You have to be able to walk past them for several days in a row while grabbing things from the pile each morning!  You eventually wear everything off of the couch and wa-la!  The living room is (semi) clean again!!  Sort of.  You can't sweat a messy house.  I just got to where I told everyone -- "It will probably always look like this - but you're always welcome"  I'm looking forward to seeing if I can do a better job of this now that there's just one little at home.  We shall see.

4.  Multi-tasking is a must!  I can't tell you how many times I would be at a softball game/practice and I knew exactly where all of my kids were while changing a diaper, answering a phone call from my mom, purchase a drink at the concession stand, and stop everything to Ring My Cowbell!!  When the girls hit a home run or made an amazing play I have this same cowbell that I've carried for years.  It's been shaken - dropped - beat on the bleachers or dugout, and maybe the back stop.  Success deserves recognition! Mama's gonna bring it!

3.  A comfortable vehicle!  This box on wheels will keep you warm - cool - dry - and carry everything precious and valuable to you.  We have changed clothes, eaten, taken naps,  laughed, cried, celebrated victories, and bemoaned losses in our vehicle.  It always contains - extra Ketsup, plastic silverware, straws, antibacterial lotion, and wipes in the cubby between the two front seats! In the glove box you would find a cosmetic case with Advil, Tylenol,  bobby pins, hair ties, maxi pads, tampons, fingernail clippers, safety pins, fingernail file, Chapstick, Tiger Balm, and Rolaids (this is for Mom!)

 And if you don't understand this picture then I probably can't explain it well.  It's universal for - I didn't know what uniform we were wearing until 4am this morning and we only had time to wash it - not dry it!!

2.  The Memory of an Elephant! Or a really great day - planner ... whatever works for you!  But seriously - keeping all of the practices and games and performances and birthday parties should have handed me a degree in Event Planning!

Speaking of elephants - this was me more times than not after putting the kids in bed and trying to get a bath!


1.  A Really Cute Man To Share In The Chaos! 

Yah yah for all of you "I Am Woman Hear Me Roar" types - I guess I could have survived alone, I'm just saying - I'm so glad I didn't have to! This picture was actually taken  AT a softball game where he met me in the parking lot to help get the "baby" and the lawn chairs and the cooler and the cowbell -sunscreen - umbrella - bag of toys - iPad - sunflower seeds - extra softball socks - sports bra - money (crap where did my purse go)  - and sunglasses up to the field before the game started because sometimes my kid was lead-off and if I ever missed an At-Bat ... It turned out to be a home run several times and you just can't live with the guilt of THAT!! 

He loves that I could remember everyone's schedule and things they needed so he would say "just tell me what you need from me" and together we would get it done. 

This picture was taken at the All-State games the summer of 2015 as we watched our second daughter (daughter #4) play at the All-State games. 

So that's it -- there was no secret weapon, no list or product to buy. There was a lot of prayer - a lot of teamwork and a lot of controlled chaos.  Seems like there should be more to it than that but there was just life! 

Note to self - never agree to write a blog that puts you as the example trying to give ideas ever again!!! Whew!!

Blessings for today ya'all, we need 'em every day! 

Heather 

Little League Sports

Well, - you HAD to know it was coming eventually!

I'm an athletic person.  I had a SLIVER of a volleyball and even smaller music scholarship offered to me (they were probably desperate in the 80's I understand that ... Nevertheless!!) I have 5 children. 4 of them have done it all ... Basketball, Soccer, Cheerleading, JO Volleyball, and softball. In Today's world you have to pick your sport early on because it consumes SO much of your time.

There are no words for the memories, friendships, vacations, wins, and even the painful loss memories that this lifestyle provided.  All of it is precious! My girls loved it.  It became WHO the Westovers were.  Yes we were believers but in the Bible Belt I think everyone just tacks that status onto you before that first handshake even, because it's expected of you here in the south.  If people thought of us I THINK (Hope) the 2 adjectives that they would have instantly said when describing us would have been -- Believers and Athletes.

I have had 2 children decide to pursue athletics into college and 2 that decided they Loved sports, but were going to commit to other fields in their life.  Because I have had 2 children go to college on scholarships some will say I'm not qualified to say what I'm saying.  Hopefully, some of you will realize that Because I had 2 children go to college on athletic scholarships I actually deserve the respect of a degree-holding professional when it comes to Moms of Athletes.

Before we get started, I do not know the lady who made this post.  Most likely, she is a wonderful giving and balanced Mom who is trying to express the urgency of the situation to coax someone to volunteer to coach and I'm going to just believe that - and I don't need to know any different.  But when I read her words, I remembered similar statements by thousands of people over 20+ years of being involved in Booster Club sports.  Sadly, and to my shame a few of these statements were dangerously close to what came out of my mouth on occasion.

Today, on social media I read these words.

Is there anyone willing to be a second grade basketball coach that has the time?  I got an email saying that if they don't get some more coaches they are going to refund some of the players money which means some of these kids won't get to play.  My child is signed up to play and would be devastated if this happened.  He has been wanting to play since he first held a basketball. 

Now - if you know her - don't try to start an online war between her and I.  I don't care where she falls in the good mom/bad mom spectrum.  I believe her when she says those things.  But when I read those words I remembered so many other statements over the years and thought to myself.  God help us here in America! What are we doing to our kids!? Just to make it to college on a softball scholarship, my girls were in the 1.5% of all HIGH SCHOOL softball players.  People did you hear that???  Check out this link.  The percentage of kids that play high school ball from all of the kids that played in 2nd grade is probably not even 1%!  So When I hear statements like "Devastated" and "wanted to play since he first held a basketball", I think of millions of kids who may or may not have had hopes so high that they carry personal insecurity problems if they didn't make it!  Or maybe they grew up hearing from mom and dad that it's always someone else's fault.  The coach didn't give her enough chances! That coach is an idiot!  Those refs suck! Home Cookin'!!!!  And better yet, maybe her dad gets in a fist fight at a college showcase tournament and the video goes viral on social media and all of the major news stations pick it up.

Here's the awful truth.  College Athletics aren't everything you think they are.  One of my girls was on a team that was #1 in the nation for a while (that is awesome and what a ride).  However, once their career was over and they looked back on it, more than one of her teammates have said to me.  "I stopped Loving the game the day it became my job."

Passing college is hard.  College Athletes have to show up most times at 6am for weights.  Go to class at 8am.  My current daughter HAS to fit all available classes into a certain time-frame.  This means that the meal plan I purchased her????  Well it isn't the value we thought when buying it because the cafeteria closes in the afternoon before she gets out of class.  When it reopens, she's in practice .... until 7pm. With Many hours of practice per day and even on the weekends, plus community service projects they try to do,  my girls very rarely are able to make it home. There is ZERO time to work and earn any money ... No not even in the off season.  Now they are stuck several hours away from home, broke, hungry, frustrated, possibly needing a study group or partner (but one that can study around practice and game schedules) homesick, and they don't have the luxury of finding friends with similar interests and quirks because they HAVE to find a best friend within the team - your teammates are the only ones who have free time the Same time you do!!    I wonder is that what we have in mind when we are yelling at referees, slandering coaches who volunteer their time, and telling our kids they're "the best"?

Yes I know you're going to be tempted to call my a hypocrite when I'm posting pictures during the season all smiles and celebrating victories and heaven help your social media feed if they were to make it to the National Championship!!!  But having seen the most wonderful and the most disappointing of both sides of this .....  should we really begin "devastated" and "her WHOLE life" kind of statements when they are in T-Ball??  Because that's where these comments start honestly.

My first daughter?  She has a wonderful mind for learning, Broadway plays, tea in fancy china, and a yearning for exploring the world - by foot if necessary.  She is driven, intelligent, loyal, and capable of probably just about anything.  My fourth daughter (the 2 athletes I'm writing about) ..... this girl is a fantastic fisherman (will even go fishing by herself!), she is compassionate towards all animals, willing to help and volunteer. If we wouldn't have chased softball, I'm guessing she would have been her Dad's shadow and entered all kinds of fishing tournaments, and probably competed in archery and marksmanship competitions.  She's brave and funny, and would have made a great barrel racer or even been completely capable of running her own ranch.  If a Rancher came along wanting to marry her?  He would have to be a natural ranching genius to match her desires and willingness to learn in these areas.   I wonder where they would be if we had pursued Any of their other interests at some point?

My Oldest - Catching at a tournament in Florida for Chatt State 

My Fourth - I have more current pictures but this collage just makes me smile. 

Oh ... one last thing???  IF we would have saved every penny we spent on softball and other booster club athletics right down to the last bag of sunflower seeds?  We could have paid for college in cash AND had enough money left over to buy her a ranch when she was done.  sigh ... hind sight and all ya'll.

Blessings for today ya'll ... we need them every day!

Heather

Move-in Day!

Well I did it! Dropped another one off at college and I survived! When we dropped my oldest off I cried almost 6 hours on the way back home. Did I just love her more? Of course not. Was it because she was my first and I had never had to do such a thing? ... In part yes. But the more children I let go of the more I learn that I really don't "owe" them all of the things this world has told me I do - nor do they necessarily Want them! My job is to raise them, able to walk on their own two feet, to love them, to introduce them to the Lord and His word, and beyond that I am obligated to give them a Mom who knows God and who can live without them and can live without meddling in their business. It's time for them to step out there and fly ... Or land in a pile of doo!  If I spend an over abundance of time hovering and involved then I will not be able to be stable with God. I have too many kids to be reaching out 5 different directions and hovering 5 different ways. And still find time to meet The Lord every day like I am supposed to. I also have neglected my husband far too long for trying to prevent consequences from reaching my kids.  When I got married - I immediately moved away from my parents. It was nice because at that point I had my own life and I knew it was not their responsibility to keep our relationship going - it was mine. I called -daily sometimes, and I went back as much as I could. I loved them and they loved me. They prayed for me and cheered me along. If I would have always expected them to perform to my expectations, I would have always been unhappy with them. 

This time I have learned that it's time - let her go - not because I'm smarter or because I love her more or less than the others. This time I know that being a  believer devoted to prayer is more important than care packages and giving advice. When the time is right she will call me. She will come see me. They all will eventually. 

This time is time to be the wife who has finally heard from God and from her man and let all of the children fall into place. 

Sigh -- now I need to give some thought to an 8 year old birthday party in 4 days! 8 years old - one of my favorite ages of children ever - and this time I can enjoy it without raising a group of children. It isn't better or worse it's just new -- and I'm one really lucky lady to get to experience both extremes in my parenting years! 

Good Luck to my new college freshman! I love you Lots - will cry some tears missing you - and will be there to visit as soon as I can!  

Mama