Mermaids and Santa Claus

I know you know this but - I have 5 girls.  The ways they are different astound me every day.  #5 is so different from the older four.  Arriving 10 years after the rest of the group, she has many quirks that just simply set her apart.

She loves getting her nails painted when I go to the salon.  Now - in fairness to the other girls who were tomboys ... They might have enjoyed a manicure as well, but it just wasn't a luxury I allowed myself when they were all young.  I didn't even have a dishwasher most of the time so worrying about nail polish just seemed unrealistic.

Piper, over the years of accompanying me on the trips for nail polish has developed an appreciation for the activity; to the point of downloading several nail art apps on my phone and she spends her time waiting on me to get done by designing her own nail art and saving all of the many pictures to my phone.

My Nail Lady has been a friend for decades ... When my #4 was little she played softball with Tracy's little girl and our husbands coached together.  She kind of  loves Piper and all of her quirks and looks forward to all of our visits.

Somewhere along the way Tracy missed the part that we don't celebrate Santa in the traditional way everyone else does.  Sure we leave cookies and there are gifts that say From: Santa but from the beginning our kids always know that Santa is us.  There's many reasons but they only really are necessary to us.  It's just how we've always done it.  So getting our nails painted the other night Piper goes first and Tracy is telling me this story about someone putting coal in their teenager's stocking ... Then you can see it come all over her and she begins to fumble.  She stutters and says "Piper - Santa would NEVER put coal in someone's stocking. - He loves All Children and ...."

Piper is giving her that smile like  "uh - huh" and being as polite as she can until she sees a moment and looks at me across the room and whispers "Can I tell her??????"   Grinning I nod "yes - go ahead"  and Piper says  "Tracy - I don't believe in Santa Claus."    We had a great giggle and teased our friend a little at how she was trying to cover such a mishap up!

We continue on with great conversation and Netflix playing some mermaid movie happily in the background.  Until Tracy says something about 'that silly Mermaid show' .....  when Piper stiffens that little backbone and gets that serious yet sarcastic look on her face and as honest as she can be says to my friend ....

"Well I DO believe in Mermaids."    No smile - just simple fact and sheesh what's wrong with her today attitude.  

I love her so much and her ability to keep everyone around her on their toes!  Mermaids People - It's where it's at!

Salvation

                                                         SALVATION

Such a volatile, joyous, frightening, debatable topic for this world today.   I mean “Once Saved Always Saved” or “You can lose your salvation if you’re not living right” – “All people who profess salvation as a child will end up ‘getting Saved’ a billion times in their life.”   --  “You have to ask Jesus into your heart – here pray this prayer!” If you haven’t heard all of these and gotten a tiny bit confused at some point in your life, then your sphere of friends are all from the same denomination!  😂

I know what I believe about the finality of personal salvation, but honestly it’s also a personal conviction.  That means what I believe about it is mostly just important – for me!  God may have spoken to you a hair different than myself because He can.  He is a personal God.  The part of the message He will never differ on is that there can be No other Gods before him in your life.  You have to acknowledge that you were born with a sin nature and that you are utterly undone without Him.  You have to accept the gift of payment for your sins (and your inability to be whole without HIM) that Jesus provided on the cross.

This is what I present to my children when they begin asking questions about “asking Jesus into their heart.”  There was a time I wasn’t super comfortable with this process in young children because there is a huge majority of people who have to make this commitment again as an adult.  I mean – I know you can’t tell a kid they can’t “get saved” but are you setting them up for a false sense of security before they’re really old enough to figure out the importance of what they’re doing?   

Finally, after much prayer and God speaking to me through others, and quiet times, and His Word – this is where I’ve landed.  From the Very first time my children/grandchildren express wanting to make a commitment to the Lord, I’m going to celebrate it like there’s no tomorrow!  Because every moment in a child’s life is a building block, a foundation for how they will perceive the next level.  If they believe they have heard God’s voice and want to respond, that’s EXACTLY the kind of righteous stronghold I want to become permanent in their heart!  If they come to me and I try to put them off because they’re not old enough, what I’m establishing in them is a pattern of “hearing God’s voice …. Wait a while … don’t do anything … maybe you’ll hear something stronger later.”   People – that’s a guarantee.  They WILL hear something stronger later.  They’ll hear the world.   No – what I want to develop is “Hearing God’s voice = respond.”  Sure – maybe they’ll miss the application part a little bit, maybe they’ll misunderstand the action item God is setting forth before them and stumble.  Well not maybe – they Will!  And I know this because even coming to know the Lord fully as an adult I still miss the action item sometimes! 

Then comes the question – ‘What if it doesn’t STICK?  What if they don’t really get saved?’  I mean – I don’t know.  Do I believe God is big enough to keep pursuing those whose hearts are softened toward him and living in the pattern of hearing His voice = respond?  Of course I do.  I just have to let them reach for the Lord as many times as it takes and trust Him to do the rest instead of trusting my ability to manipulate it to Just the right Moment!? (good grief)

With all of that being said – we have had a joyous revelation in our household this week!  After the day earlier this fall where I had no keys to get to work and I stayed home with Piper all day and we played outside, talked about God, walked every inch of our property, played on the hay bales and discussed what it’s like to hear God’s voice….  She came to us this week and said she has been hearing God’s voice and it’s time to give Him her life.  She then proceeded to quote Isaiah 41:13 to me without any prompting or suggestion.  She said this is her life verse.  This is big stuff for a kid who struggles so much with anxiety and fears.  So her dad and I went into her bedroom and stood beside her bunk bed while she prayed that God would take control of her life and make her one of His! 

Baptism is another issue … since we are all the way under – dunked fully submerged kind of people, and she has some anxiety and fears about water still,  the baptism is going to come when she feels God is telling her to.  😊  That’s okay – it sets up another ‘hear God’s voice = respond” moment in her life and I’m cool with that!

Establish that stronghold in your life today – to Never stop reaching for God.  Especially when you even just THINK you’ve heard Him speak.  He honors that you know.  Reach for him and He will be found.

What a Merry Christmas season this year!

Blessings for today ya'll - we need 'em every day!

Heather 

How is he? "He's the Righteousness of God in Christ Jesus"

Depression - Addiction - Suicide

I met this family when the boy was in 5th grade.  Same age as my daughter,  Who fell instantly in love with him. Don't tell me you can't fall in love in 5th grade ... my house rose and fell with whether they were on good terms as friends, sometimes as boyfriend/girlfriend, and whether or not he gave her his jersey on Fridays to wear (it was a big deal people ... the biggest - and it determined the mood in the Westover household for the rest of the weekend).  My pastor says "Don't say ... awe it's just puppy love!  It's REAL to the puppy!"  And this was true in our case.

His Mom and I became fast friends. We didn't see each other a lot and I know she had closer daily friends than me but we just had one of those friendships that you instantly have loyalty to.  Sure we disagreed over the years because we're both strong women.  In a unique turn of events, our husbands even really like each other and if you've been married a while you'll know that's rare for all 4 people to really enjoy each other's company.

When we met she was still grieving the loss of her daughter.  At 4 she lost her little girl to a very 'once in a million' situation that just cannot be foreseen so there's no way to prevent type situation.  She was the strongest woman I knew - I mean how do you do that?  But she did, and she did it with a fierceness to cling to God that intimidated and even drove away some people.  That's okay - you didn't walk her road so you may not need her level of warrior for Jesus spirit, but I loved her for it. At one point we were privileged enough to attend the same church together and we laughed and cried and prayed together so many times.

Her son was deeply changed and grieved over the loss of his little sister.  Depression snuck up behind him and became a constant companion.  Addiction followed and joined forces with depression.  His Mama never stopped fighting.  For years when we would see each other I would ask 'How's your son?' and every time she would reply  "He is the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus...." and grin that exasperated grin all Mom's of challenging teenagers grin.  She stayed one step ahead of him - rode him hard to fight against depression - kick addiction - make better choices - and keep fighting.  She gave him tough love - a soft place to land - she begged God to hunt him down and overtake him, but he was only able to get victory in spurts.  He continued his love for my daughter and she for him.  He wanted them to be together but he would push her away because he wanted to protect her from what tormented him.  She did the same - she loved him but wouldn't give in to the chaos he couldn't defeat.  They kept in touch every couple months his whole life right up until the end.

I loved that boy.  I mean he would tell me the trouble he was in  and I heard it, but he would look me deeply in the eye, engage me, hug me, and really make you feel like he was NOT wrapped up in himself and depression/addiction and it was so hard for me to believe the one who always hugged me and loved me when we saw each other was the same guy he would tell me about - or even that his Mom and I prayed for.  It was surreal.

Last night I went to their house and held her as she cried and told me of the last conversation they had.  And how they got the phone call that he had taken his life.  I'm not going to give you details because you don't need to know.  It isn't about how it happened.  It's about how a mother never gave up and all of her words of prophecy are completed.  She believes with all her heart that he is a believer and in the arms of Jesus now.  All that keeps running through my head is   He is the Righteousness of God in Christ Jesus more today than ever before.

How do you minister to a woman who has lost 2 babies?  How do you make her see that she is the strongest woman you know when she feels so weak? She told me she needs help today and wants me there to do it.  They have to go to his place and collect his things.  They have to go to the funeral home - they have to make all of the decisions that a mom should never have to make.  And she has to do it for the second time in her life. Holding her and crying with her isn't enough.  But it's what we are going to do today.  She has closer daily friends - but because of my daughter and this beautiful boy, she wants us to be there.  I'm honored. I'm grieved.  I held my daughter for a long time when we left there last night and thought about how important she is to me.  How important they all are to me.  And how my heart just hurts for my friend.

Depression - Addiction - Suicide  Sometimes the victory is won in eternity, not on earth. Sometimes it's the most painful thing for those left behind. But knowing he is finally at peace is comforting. Right now God and that comfort is all we have.  So it's what we take into battle for the next few days.

I keep looking for a good way to end this post but there just isn't one.  Thank you Lord for being the strength that we don't have today.

Terror Threat in NYC

So - my hotel is located in Time Square.  Many friends and loved ones have asked me if I'm still going. One friend looked me in the eye and said "Do you have any fear at all?"  Another sends me screen shots of every press release, and one of my daughters is monitoring all news operations around the world.  Not because she is fearful but because she just does that already.  

Let me start with the most important one - I cannot die without God's permission.  I have said this many times and I have not gotten a Word from Him not to go.  So if I really believe that then staying home just acts upon fear that isn't from Him.  

Likewise, I cannot live without his permission. If I stay home and it is my appointed time to meet Jesus it will still happen somehow. 

"You know they are threatening an attack in Time Square --- what if it happens in front of you. What will you do?"   

I will use all of my SD Farm Girl and Oklahoma woman of strength abilities to act like the child of God I am and just ... Deal with it. 

I am mindful that I am going there For Him. I am praying that no weapon formed against the singing of His Word will prosper. That in a secular, beautiful, historic building like Carnegie Hall, we will sing to believers and unbelievers alike and someone will have the stirrings of a spirit awakened. 

One person asked me if I would act differently because I have children. Will I be more cautious in the face of an attacker or hostage situation like what happened in Mali today.  The answer is yes and no. All of my kids and grandkids are always on my mind, but I would rather Piper know that I died Not denying Jesus than I would have her knowing I lived by rejecting him. 

My husband sat me down and looked me in the eye and said "You're still going because we are not going to live in fear. However, I need you to be aware of where you are ... Where are the exits ... " and he covered a few other things.  My brother has always tried to show me self defense skills and they are front and center in my mind. My mom told me not to stay home but be careful. My kids have one by one just said 'I Love You - have a good time!"  And my little sister just said "I'll be praying extra hard and I love you!"  

The only people who have suggested I shouldn't go are friends and acquaintances who are only caught up in the moment and would probably not have said that if they were giving themselves more time to think it through. 

You see, Timothy McVey taught me in April 1996 that insanity doesn't happen just in foreigners or Muslims. Denver taught me that insanity can walk into a movie theatre and reign fear and chaos, and Columbine taught me that going to school every day isn't necessarily a sanctuary like it was in the 1980's. And 9-11 taught me that the enemies of America - the West - and Christians are relentless and there will never be a day where there is zero risk. None of this means I should stay home and never leave my house. 

I'm praying that God fall heavily on me with discernment and if I need to get out of a certain situation that He scream audibly in my ear to Run! Sometimes I can get caught up in enjoying a moment and He may need to be very loud and direct to get me out of there. 😊

But with family and an inner circle like that? And ... If God is for us who can be against us? 

Why would I stay home from a chance to sing for God With Sandi Patty the year before she retires?!?  

Lastly, do I have any fear at all? Yes I'm scared that Corey won't feed my dogs and horses! I'm scared that Piper will cry herself asleep... I'm scared  that she won't, she's growing up after all and is beginning to create that self-sufficient bubble. I'm worried Corey won't take the turkey out of the freezer, and I'm also worried my feet and back will protest to all of the physical requirements this jaunt will require. But in the end I can think of all those things for a split second and still lay my head down and sleep well. 

There are police with AR's on every corner and even more.  This is exactly the same risk as working downtown OKC or going to the movie in Denver and many others.  The news is just aware of it and putting a bigger spotlight on it.   

With all of that being said - specific prayers for protection would be appreciated. Thanks for asking about me! 

NYC trip (please O please)

I figured I would update here several times so that people who aren't super interested wouldn't have to scroll past long posts.

I'm a tiny bit concerned for the start of this trip ... I am hoping it isn't set up for epic Lucille Ball moments.   Right off the bat this morning I had alarms set for waking up ... 15 minutes after wake up (just in case) and an alarm for "you need to walk out the door". I woke up on first alarm (good!) - turned off the 2nd alarm and begin doing make-up and packing.  I think "Man I'm doing great! My warning alarm for 'you need to leave now' hasn't even gone off!!  Finally I ask my husband - "what time is it?" 

He proceeds to tell me it's 15 min past my alarm that never went off!  When I panic about it he says "ya it went off! I turned it off a while ago!" 😳🙄🙄 

Sigh .....  So we throw everything in the car and drop my munchkin off at my brother's and head for the airport.  Now there have been times in the past that I wake up during a long road trip and this man is driving over 90mph! I begin to freak out on him and he would say "I thought you were asleep!!!" 😒. Today - we're going to turn over a new leaf and drive the speed limit all the way to the airport.  

But I'm rocking my Teenage Daughter Survivor shirt and I'm ready to do this thing. 

Upon getting to the airport and heading to security, it looks fairly empty!! Fantastic!  I get to the screening area where we have to undress and put everything in bins and there's 2 lines ... Both the same size.  I stand in one for a while until a lady starts to yell at us that there "are two lines people -- use them both!" So I step over to the out of the way line .... At this point the line I left behind begins to move at warp speed and my line grinds to a screeching halt. The gentleman in front of me with a foreign accent begins to fuss "we are not moving! Why are you not working?! You should do your job!!" Security guards begin to give him 'the eye' and I'm doing everything in my power to let them know I'm not with him.  Then he turns around and begins to talk with me like we Are together ... "Why are they not moving?! They aren't doing their job!!!" Now the guards are eyeing me too. Thanks buddy. I give the guards looks like -- I don't know him ... They don't even blink. 

 

We finally get all undressed (appropriately) and stuff ready to scan when now they are doing pat downs on each person (I'm good with this --- fuss-bucket is not).  Apparently he doesn't want pat down by the guy.  Lady is ready to pat me down and he is fussing ... I'm thinking to myself - really I don't even care, and in this situation neither would my husband, switch with me so that guy can pat me down and I can get away from you. But neither of the guards wanted to switch either.  By this point my 'lady' is frustrated and I'm wondering if I'm going to throw out involuntary self-defense moves during her rigorous "pat-down". 

Even with this commotion things went relatively fast.  With all this behind me I head for my plastic bins where the guy behind me is "helping" me get my stuff out.  Hmmm not sure this is a good idea mister - someone besides me might clock you for touching their stuff.  Regardless, I'm happy to just yank my boots on and get out of there.  

Now walking up to the gate I begin to have Lucille Ball tendencies.  I approach the gate attendant and ask a question. She answers and smiles really nicely at me and as I go to smile back ... I INVOLUNTARILY WINKED AT HER?!?!?!? 

What in the world?  I never wink at people! How did that just happen?! And did I just make a face like Lucille Ball horrified that I had winked or is all of this just roaming through my head?! And Great - does she think I'm hitting on her?!  Read my shirt lady I'm a teenage daughter survivor - I'm married -- to a man - and I have 5 children.  (Stop it Heather collect your things and go sit down). 

When boarding the plane the Captain is standing at the entrance and he grins and says "Boy your shirt is straight up the truth!"   

I replied "Yes I know! I have Five of them!" 

His face registers pure shock and he reaches out to shake my hand.  I take his hand and shook it laughing and then I WINKED AT HIM?!?!?!?! What in the world is wrong with me?!? Oh. My. Goodness. This trip could seriously be humiliating!   I got on the plane and sat down - put my headphones in and didn't look at another soul. 

Please o please let me stop this Now. 

Letter To Me at 36 - Diagnosed with Depression

You didn't fail.

You don't have to be on medication forever.

You won't always feel this way.

It's a slow descent that first time Depression comes to call.  When this happens you're in one of the most stressful times of your life.  You stopped paying attention to You.  You're run down physically, mentally, emotionally and most dangerously - spiritually.  You're leaving victims in your wake even though it's the last thing you want to do.

I know you feel alone.  You're not - God is right there but Depression is closer and you can't feel God right now.  Your husband doesn't see all of the things it takes mentally just to Do the things you do.  But it isn't because he doesn't love you like you keep hearing in your head.  The wounded looks you see on your kids faces when you just can't do anymore?  Those looks are temporary.  They know somewhere deep down that this isn't you.

You've been to the doctor a lot lately looking for answers.  The medications they have you on right now have brought more problems - requiring more medication. You are eventually delivered from all of these medications!  It's a viscous cycle. But God is faithful, for Everyone.  He breaks through and reaches out a hand.  There have been many moments you have either been too distracted by Depression, or you have just been too weak to reach back.   Then He disappears.  But He is faithful to come back time and again.  He reaches out to you every time, offering that strong arm to lean on, to carry you.

People ask you if you're okay.  What are you supposed to say?  You can't put it into words even if you had the hope that someone would understand.  Three times - those three times will come to your memory forever.  You won't view them from Depression forever - after a while you can view it from the side of victory.  But three times at work you took a break because you just couldn't sit still anymore and decided to take a walk around the block.  While walking and enjoying (at least you thought you were enjoying it) the fresh air, three strangers stopped you with genuine looks of concern on their faces and said "Are you ok?"  I mean for crying out loud - HOW miserable do you have to look for complete strangers to feel the freedom to come up to you and ask if you're okay (when you're feeling at least a little bit normal!)??  I mean ... how miserable must you look when you Don't feel normal?

Then came that day.  Sitting in the doctor's office and you're just talking and you can't stop.  You didn't wear make up today because you just can't.  Your hair is done but your clothes are sloppy, baggy long sleeved pink  t-shirt and blue jeans.  The second she gives you a look of compassion and says "Heather, it's okay - you're just at the very very end of what you can take, and you're physically at the last drop of strength you have. It's okay.  I'm going to give you some help but you have to take my hand and fight like you've never fought before or This.  This is where you will live for the rest of your life. Do you hear me?" The second she says that you break down sobbing because someone appears to get it.

Did you hear her??  I'm not sure. But I remember hearing her say it's time to fight or This will be your life for the Rest of your life.  That scared you.  Her demeanor and her words comforted you.  You didn't feel quite so alone.  But some part of you is just so exhausted - it's like you know it would just be easier to give in to the cycle.  But you also know it's miserable.  You're drowning - or breathing through a plastic sack while everyone else around you thinks you should be Mary Poppins!  You're at your last straw - you're overwhelmed.

Today - this day, is the turning point.  Sure there were many other Dr. appointments, she probably even gave you the same compassion before.  But Today!  Today was the day God dropped into your timeline and started the Rocky soundtrack music. Today is the day you believed you could get better.  Today is the day you overcame pride about depression and depression medication and you reached up and took God's hand and you stood up - under His wing.  No you don't have to take the medication forever.  But if you had to you would be no less victorious!  Today you start Crying out to the Lord with your voice.  The medication helps give you temporary strength.  Temporary strength so you can Have that quiet time - or the Not so quiet time when you cry out to God.  Keep reading Psalms - you'll be shocked how many times it says you are supposed to Cry Out To God with your Voice!  Don't just say a prayer in your head.  Let him know you get it - let everyone around you know you get it! 

+

I'm not going to tell you Depression never tries to come back.  He is relentless, he misses your company, he wants to stir your mind to mush, he visits as often as he can.  Sometimes you will not notice for a couple days, you just know something is off.  You begin to question people's motives.  You begin to be convinced people are just out to find ways to knock you down.  Then you recognize his stench, you know he's there, but you know where to run! 

 Read Psalms - All of it.  Underline it.  Speak it out loud to God.  You know which chapters are yours for that moment in eternity.

I can tell you that you find a way out.  God lights a lamp and you follow it.  When you've been faithful to follow in a few steps, He sends you to work for a minor league football team.  Your co-worker has the most infectious laugh and she sees joy in EVERYTHING.  Her giggle transforms your soul.  You'll know her when you get there.  Thank Him.  Then He moves you on through another hurdle.  Before you know it, your husband has been fighting his battle and you both meet on the other side carried by God and brought back together.  You have been gifted with seeing the precious and humor in just about everything on the other side.  Don't be hurt or offended when those who are still hurting in some way or another do not see the same humor you do.  Don't defend yourself.  Pray for them to have joy, be gracious, apologize - it costs you nothing to be nice - especially to someone who so desperately is fighting their own battle.  Once you're on the other side you can be nice to the tortured, smile at the ugly, and be merciful to the hurting who lash out.  .... And. It's. Amazing!

Believe it or not - it's worth it and you wouldn't have God remove the years of pain for anything because of the gift He had waiting on the other side.

Keep fighting.  He loves you.  I love you and you are stronger than you think!

Blessings for today ya'll - we need 'em every day!  For. Sure!

Heather

PS .... read Psalms - All of it    I'll say it again if I need to.

Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice

Here's what I really really hate about the title of this blog and the atmosphere in the United States.

That's it in a nutshell ... the vs. ....  the fighting ...  the name calling ... the badgering....  Do not assume that this is all coming against one side or the other.  I hate what both "sides" have done to each other!

I have 4 grown daughters and was a youth leader at our local church for 12 years.   I have held a lot of girls over the years weeping because they thought they were pregnant (or they really were pregnant) in an unplanned or horrible situation. I absolutely cannot stand the condemnation that well meaning believers throw onto these girls.  Equally disgusting is the opposing side chanting how "easy" it is to "get rid" of the 'problem'.   No big deal, one appointment and your problems are over!   Both extremes are ridiculously uninformed and unrealistic.

I will not get into the "scientific facts" or the debate about when life begins. I Know when life begins for me.  But to be honest, Life Begins at conception for me because of what God has done for me and because of the things that we have said to each other regarding this topic.  However, it is just a plain fact that not everyone chooses to defer to God or to believe in Him for that matter.  It's the gift of free will he gave us!

A large section of women/girls who have had this procedure performed though were not the atheist with hatred in their heart for God.  Most of them are terrified. At one point I had a young girl that I knew better than some others from my church come in and crawl up on my bed and weep.  She said "But things are so terrible and mean since finding out I was pregnant.  If I give birth to this baby then I have to deal with him (the dad) the rest of my life every single day!!  If this baby weren't born I know it is wrong but it is a final end to the relationship.  I never have to deal with the abuse nor the person ever again! It can just be a final end to the horror."

I can feel the heartbeat of both sides ramping up right now to validate their 'side' of this argument and the emotions come so fast and thick that here's what gets lost.  The girl.  Honestly, - Physically I think I sat still while talking to her but my mind and my heart and my spirit were turning somersaults.  Because if I jump on the evangelical "THAT's NOT TRUE" bandwagon I immediately lose credibility with the frightened girl, and I was SO mad at the enemy that there was even a sliver of truth in what she was saying.  Fact:  with a child she DOES have to deal with the dad every single day for the rest of her life.  Fact:  if the child was not born she will have tremendous emotional wounds that she has to deal with.  However, keep in mind what she said....  'things are so terrible and mean'.  She has already been in a horrible abusive relationship.  Making the child be born isn't going to mean she doesn't already have terrible emotional trauma to deal with.  She doesn't see how it could be any harder than what she has to deal with right here and now.

I have only watched one of the "Planned Parenthood videos" and I don't care what side you are on.  The moment they reach into a tray and hold up an arm with tiny little fingers with a pair of tweezers it is a little unnerving.  I cannot remember any of the words they were saying on the video because I just kept thinking  "Oh My Gosh No"

But here's the deal.  It can send me to tears in my home on my couch thinking of and looking at something like that.  But when I'm dealing with a young lady considering it or having walked through it.  My reaction had better be love!  When Jesus addressed the lady taken in adultery after saving her from being stoned by a mob of self-righteous religious leaders, he Didn't say "WELL!!  If YOU hadn't been out there sleeping around in Fornication! This wouldn't have happened to you in the first place!  You have to make better choices you loose woman you!!"  I literally do not think there's any way to read the words of that passage with condemnation.  Neither do I condemn you, Go and sin no more.  He didn't launch into what terrible choices she had made.  He didn't stand on the street corner with posters saying GOD HATES Adulterers!!  Come on Really?!?  How can you think that is ever going to reach anyone?

I have some friends in and out of the church who have had abortions.  I have some very precious girls in my life who have had abortions and some who have considered abortions but now have beautiful babies and a very difficult path co-parenting.  I even have a daughter that had a child outside of marriage and has had to walk through the challenges of co-parenting with a young man she is no longer involved with.  It is a difficult situation in the BEST of circumstances, but it can be downright torture in the worst of circumstances.  So beating them over the head with their 'loose morals' is really not that productive when trying to help them make progress in their life going forward.  Sure there's a time for that kind of "How did we get here and how can we make sure we don't revisit it again" talk but first of all you have to have relationship - you have to have earned the right to say the hard thing to someone.  Believer or not - you have to have relationship.  This world where people stand on either side of the conflict and hurl hate at one another is ridiculous.

There have been times I have spoken in a moment of passion that really hurt some of my loved ones who deal with abortion in their background or their family's background.  And I honestly take a look at myself and fix whatever was wrong (carelessness, or being naive to her pain) without changing my conviction.   That's what I'm hoping.  Could the extremists from both sides pull in closer together and be more about loving the people involved instead of loving your agenda??

While my blog is more of a rant without definite solution.  I just would like a world where both sides can say "How Great Is Our God"  that He can take two microscopic nothings and create a Human through different stages of development and give praise where it is due without having to argue over which picture constitutes the beginning of life. For just a moment, to just have everyone acknowledge that God is the author of life without nitpicking our agendas.

Psalm 139:13-16

SHHHH  Don't talk to me about viable life, or conception, or choices or murder.  Sometimes I just want to know if both sides can stand in awe for just a moment at the miracle of how we are formed. Just let me for just a minute thank God that he could take that bumpy ball you see up there and give me this. 

That's it.  I don't need to know HOW it all happens or whatever.  Just thank you God that you do. And when I am again in the position to wrap my arms around another young woman in need.  May I do it the way you did.  Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more.   Because trust me, she knows how she got there.  May I just point her to you and let You speak to her through me ... and without me - just you and her. 

I Hate My Thighs ... and other Negative Body Self Image Issues

I Hate My Thighs!   Oh - it could be your ears, maybe they stick out too far, or your nose - maybe it's too big, or your toes - nothin' worse than funny lookin' toes right?  Whether it's your height, or lack thereof - your hair and all it's frizziness, or rebellion to holding any style ever we all have something we're insecure about - heck I had a few things I was always insecure about!  I hated the gap in my two front teeth for years. I hated and yet I loved my hips and thighs.  I loved that I was strong and I loved the muscular look but you put me up against a girl with a "gap" in her thighs then I hated myself again.  Girls are awful about body shaming!  But they don't hold a candle to women.

Did you read that?  Adult women are worse at body shaming themselves and others than young girls going through puberty. Shame on us. Period.  Because those young girls going through puberty are listening to everything we (and everyone else) say about our bodies and the bodies of those around us.  When my girls were babies and growing up I never owned a scale.  This is a foreign concept to a Lot of people.  But one of my girls said to me one time  "I think one of the best things you ever did for us was to not have a scale in the house.  I remember watching "Freida" throw up in the bathroom every day after lunch, and other girls sit and cry during recess because they weighed too much in 5th grade and they were tormented by it all."  I didn't own a scale because at some point every woman steps on a scale and looks down to see this.

We do it to ourselves mostly.  Sure we all get "bullied"  by others at some point.  Some of us get bullied repeatedly, others don't.  But we ALL have bullied ourselves.  Don't believe me?  How many of you have read an article like this - and fretted just a little over how far off from what you perceive to be the goal?

We all fret for many reasons - what will the other ladies/girls think of me?  I know they're making fun of me in this outfit - someone with MY body shape shouldn't wear skinny jeans (or whatever outfit you're in right now). 

Until the last maybe 5 years having a big derriere or lower half in general was embarrassing. All of the girls wanted the picture below.  That body where your thighs don't touch.  My thighs were always pretty much the same size.  Whether muscular or flabby they measured the same so I always tried to keep them muscled up.  I mean I was proud of strength and toned up legs but then a girl like below would walk by and I was right back to The Land of Misfit Toys with my self image again.   

My husband doesn't like the "thigh gap" body.  Told me as such back in high school even.  He told me that the skinny legs are a big turn off for him.  When we would see a woman with skinny legs and I would remark on this he would say "Ya and look - it looks like her leg could snap in two on any given step - it's gross!"   I mean I Wanted to believe him but there was so much propaganda on the other side from media to magazines to conversations with friends that it just always stayed with me.  We had a neighbor move in probably 17 years ago or so right next door.  Not only did this gal have skinny legs - they were long - and so was her blonde hair.  I HATED seeing her go out for a walk somewhere.  I mean really - couldn't she just stay on her couch??  When you walk out your front door honey - can you just get into your car and drive to the gym - that place I avoid where all you skinny legged people are running on treadmills and lamenting about how "fat" you are??? 

We were driving down the street one time and she was walking somewhere (again unnecessary exercise right?!?) I said "I know you say you don't like that body type but I sure would like to know the 'burden' of those legs."  with a giggle.  He looked at me (very UNamused) and said "ya well when her leg snaps in two and she can't make it home YOU get to go pick her up and carry her for help.  One of our girls could probably do that.  It's too skinny Heather."    I decided that day that I would not make comments to him about it anymore but it was still my internal battle.  

Years later (remember I've had 5 children and could really stand to lose a significant amount of weight).  I had said something about not dieting but watching the type of food I used for intake.  I had been making a good run at it as well.  Was down about 10 lbs and feeling good.  My husband called and said "I have a surprise for you!"  But wouldn't say what it was.  Ladies - when he got home I swear to goodness he walked through that door with a big smile on his face thinking he had done the BEST thing in the world.  He handed me a white square box.  I instantly recognized this box - the kind that comes from some type of bakery.  "I drove by an Amish Bakery today and pulled over to buy you your favorite!!  Pecan Pie from the Amish!" 

Okay come on, can I get an Amen from the big girl club here?  We all know I'm about to eat more than one piece of that stinking pie before it's all gone.  A WHOLE PIE?!? Do they not sell them by the slice?  Good Grief!  But I looked up into his face and that was the last day I worried about my body.  My husband loved me and here's the thing ladies and girls beginning a life of self-doubt.  God created him with that desire and that set of criteria.  He doesn't find skinny legs and a thigh gap attractive because God created him to be attracted to everything about me. 

Of course I'm not advocating to run off in the ditch here and eat pecan pie weekly. There's an extreme to all of these issues and neither ditch is productive.  I'm currently back to watching what I eat and trying to figure out an exercise program right for my body because I refuse to spend any more time at my age killing myself in a gym doing the exercises Thigh Gap girl does when it really won't reshape my body much.  I'm back to worrying about toning myself up instead of cutting myself in half.   I have a weight in mind where I felt the best.  According to the government guidelines that weight puts me borderline obese still but I know where I felt the best.  I've been way too skinny for my body type and right now I'm way too heavy for my body type.  But What I know is that if our men don't see the imperfections we feel are such a burden - why do we?  I'm challenging you to find a weight for your body type and your age that makes you feel good.  Not look like a magazine - Not "BEACH READY" or any of the other ridiculous unattainable things we measure ourselves by.  

There are men created for each of us who really Do prefer your funny looking toes or your big ears or the gap in your teeth because the rest of you is attractive.  They're looking for loyalty and commitment and respect.  They aren't looking for a Kardashian or Victoria Secret model.  And if your man has told you he loves the way you were created - why don't you? 

Young girls - teenagers ....  If you are fervently hoping for the attention of a man who constantly is attracted to the opposite of your body type you need to look at WHY you want him.  If he gives you attention will you just be using it to validate your insecurities?  Wish him and thigh gap girl well and lift up your face.  The man God created for you is probably waiting on you to notice he's there! 

Blessings for Today ya'll - We need 'em every day! 

Heather 

P.S.  Just a little bonus here ... Never -- EVER -- Ever in eternity should you Google pictures for "funny looking toes".  While trying to find pictures for this blog that was one of the pictures I thought would be funny.  NOT funny!  Not even a little bit.  People - you won't sleep for a week.  For the Love of God - Don't do it!!! 

Heritage

I was reflecting on Heritage today at church.  I have a heritage of so many different things from the people in my life.  My Mom is a master at meals and hospitality, but even when there weren’t any guests she made Us her guests.  I remember many times as a child watching movies and even when the movie had already started (there weren’t pause buttons then) – she would be in the kitchen making popcorn (on the stove) and chocolate malts in the blender.  I honestly don’t know How many times she did this but I guess she only had to do it once for me to remember that she sacrificed her viewing of the movie to take care of us.

But today, I was thinking about my relationship with the Lord.  I am not a great “Studier of the Word”.  I mean I want to be and I Do read my bible and devotionals and such but when I hear other people talk I think to myself “You’re terrible!  You’ve got to knuckle down and get in there and figure out how to knock out Hours at this thing if you want to be a “good child”!”    I am however, good at just spending time with the Lord.  I can focus on Him when I’m doing dishes or driving or working in the yard, or folding clothes (yep LOTS of time focusing on Him here).

Today, during the men’s prayer I think God reminded me of stuff in my childhood to show me WHY I’m good at that.  My family life revolved around the family table growing up.  There are so so many blogs that could and probably will come from that, but my family table sat positioned right next to this BIG picture window.  This was my Dad’s seat.  While eating, he had his back to the window, but I have equal if not more memories of his chair turned sideways with his left hand on his iced water, or coffee and his other arm resting on the window sill.  Again, I can’t tell you HOW many times this happened but I know it was a bunch.  He would say “Sugar Look here!”  and point out the window.  We lived on hundreds of acres of empty farm land.  Flat farm land that had a view for miles.  He would spot a fox or stray cat… wild deer or turkey… or maybe even just a beautiful bird.  I would run to his lap and he would point and we would search the landscape and watch the wildlife as one.  There really wasn’t ever a Lot of talking.  A phrase here or there maybe, but mostly we were just looking as one at the same thing at the same time.  Sometimes he would ask me a question, sometimes he would tell me something but mostly we just were together focused on the view ahead.  I didn’t look at him – I looked ahead, but his presence was obvious and guided the moment. 

Dad & I at the picture window.  I'm guessing I gave him a flashlight for his birthday! 

Today, during the men’s prayer God took me back to that and reminded me of the many hours I’ve done the same with Him.  Really, there’s probably no way to make it make sense in written text.  I just sit and I am at one with God, we fold laundry or we mow the yard or we feed the horses. Sometimes He asks me a question, sometimes He tells me something but mostly we just look ahead and His presence guides the moment. I may not divide the Bible and study Latin and run my Strong’s Concordance until pages fall out, and while I Do read the word, I think today He told me it’s okay.  He gave me the heritage that He did because He wants me this way.   One with Him guiding the moment.  I’m not going to feel inferior about that any more.  I’m right there – on my Father’s lap looking out the picture window, right where I should be.  

Co-Sleeping Question Everyone Whispers

 

I recently had someone ask my opinion on crib sleeping vs co-sleeping - They asked if I would write a blog about it.  People seriously - you know not what can of worms you open when you ask me to blog!

 ** If you're my child you probably won't want to read this yet.  ***

My first 3 children were strict crib sleepers.  I would hold them to go to sleep and then put them in their crib.  If they woke in the middle of the night I repeated the actions.  I'm not sure why except that as a Young parent I tried to do a lot of things the way I felt the older generation thought I SHOULD do them.  I was in the grocery store with my oldest at 13 months and she had a bottle.  An older lady approached me and asked how old she was and then proceeded to act like I was the most scandalous woman she had ever met!  "Babies should be long done with the bottle by 12 months!!  Why are you still letting her have one?  Is she not CAPABLE of drinking from a cup?"   I went home that day and threw away every bottle in the house and worried that my child's development had been stunted from the extra month of bottle use.  Today if that lady would approach me I probably would reach out and to keep from strangling her I would pat her on the head and say "Well YOU must be a breath of fresh air to live with!!"  And stick the bottle in my baby's mouth and move on.  Who knows maybe I would stick the bottle in MY mouth and move on.   When I got delivered from peer pressure I was Really delivered from it.

Our last two children were co-sleepers.  My fourth daughter was emotionally capable of sleeping in her own bed and did occasionally.  But at that time my husband worked midnights.  Who did it hurt if she slept with me 5 nights a week?  The two nights he was home ... I either made a big deal about "spending the night" with one of her sisters, or she camped out in the living room under a blanket fort, or she slept in her own bed .... or she slept with us.  My baby has carried a lot of fear and some nightmares.  She COULD not be alone - ever.  She slept with us or occasionally one of her sisters every single night until the week before she turned 8!!! (This was just recently by-the-way)

When I am asked about co-sleeping 70% of the question is not about whether it is good for the child really.  70% of the questions really focus more on whether it is good for the marriage.  Especially from believers, who for some reason are afraid to ask the question out loud - here's the real question.  "Will my marriage suffer? My husband says we will never ... Um be intimate again if I let the baby sleep with us?!   Will my husband cheat on me because we co-sleep with our babies?"

When we conceived our 5th child - our 4th was still co-sleeping with us some ... not as much but still pretty consistently.  My oldest was starting her senior year in high school and had certainly developed her own "ideas" regarding sex and even the marriage bed.  On her first day of college at her softball team meeting they had to go around the room and tell about themselves.  Shana starts out with the fact that she is the oldest of 5 girls.  Her baby sister is 1.  "This means that my parents still "DO IT" and that's pretty awkward."        

Wait child - you said what???  Sheeeshhhh!?  Can you imagine what everyone must have been thinking when they met us?! Holy Cow!

Ladies, here's the short answer to the questions you whisper to me after we discuss the pros and cons to the child regarding co-sleeping.  Your marriage will not suffer if you don't let it.  You will still be able to take care of your husband if you get your mind out of the rut that the marriage "bed" is the only place you can be intimate.  There's the closet .... the garage ...the master bathroom ... the office ...(because I know my children and every single one of them read this anyway and at this point are horrified I'll only add one more)  there's even outside.  Do NOT - I repeat -- Do NOT become an indecent burden for your neighbors or children and claim Heather told you to! Indecent exposure charges are NOT what I'm advocating here! What I'm advocating is to love your children AND your husband.  Reach out to him - show him that just because your bed is a place of comfort and safety to your children, it doesn't mean that you will be unable to show him you desire him and his affection again until the child moves into junior high and her own bed!  Your husband Needs to see you making an effort to reach out for him. If he sees nothing wrong with co-sleeping but worries about you being available anymore, you need to commit to him that you will put him first.  When the children are asleep in your bed and your husband feels put on the back burner - leave the sleeping child there and grab him by the hand and take him somewhere to reassure him he is the first precious thing after God in your life.  

Now this is a pretty scandalous and brave proclamation in the church, I get that, but just because we all agree modesty is honorable, does not mean that we are not woman - created by God to bring Him glory - and placed by God to be the help mate, friend, supporter , and yes lover of our husband. 

So ya! To answer your question- you Can still have a good marriage if you co-sleep with your babies!  Your husband is only going to cheat on you if it is in him to do so! You neglecting his needs might be the excuse he needs to rush to this action but a man will not cheat unless it's in him to do so. Finally, your marriage will only suffer if you don't make it a priority to be there for each other - mentally, spiritually, emotionally, AND physically! 

P.S. All of these pictures were taken BY my husband because he saw these moments as precious not threatening to his needs.  No it isn't ALL your responsibility, but the home is greatly steered my the mood and attitude of Mama "If Mama ain't happy..."  We'll get happy Mama -- and get a little creative as well! 

Blessings for today ya'll - we need 'em every day. 

Heather 

**** the thoughts and opinions expressed in this blog are not necessarily those of the friends or family she has or the church she may attend, the town she lives in, nor the state in which she resides.  All parties are to not be held liable for the opinions expressed within  😜

Little League Sports

Well, - you HAD to know it was coming eventually!

I'm an athletic person.  I had a SLIVER of a volleyball and even smaller music scholarship offered to me (they were probably desperate in the 80's I understand that ... Nevertheless!!) I have 5 children. 4 of them have done it all ... Basketball, Soccer, Cheerleading, JO Volleyball, and softball. In Today's world you have to pick your sport early on because it consumes SO much of your time.

There are no words for the memories, friendships, vacations, wins, and even the painful loss memories that this lifestyle provided.  All of it is precious! My girls loved it.  It became WHO the Westovers were.  Yes we were believers but in the Bible Belt I think everyone just tacks that status onto you before that first handshake even, because it's expected of you here in the south.  If people thought of us I THINK (Hope) the 2 adjectives that they would have instantly said when describing us would have been -- Believers and Athletes.

I have had 2 children decide to pursue athletics into college and 2 that decided they Loved sports, but were going to commit to other fields in their life.  Because I have had 2 children go to college on scholarships some will say I'm not qualified to say what I'm saying.  Hopefully, some of you will realize that Because I had 2 children go to college on athletic scholarships I actually deserve the respect of a degree-holding professional when it comes to Moms of Athletes.

Before we get started, I do not know the lady who made this post.  Most likely, she is a wonderful giving and balanced Mom who is trying to express the urgency of the situation to coax someone to volunteer to coach and I'm going to just believe that - and I don't need to know any different.  But when I read her words, I remembered similar statements by thousands of people over 20+ years of being involved in Booster Club sports.  Sadly, and to my shame a few of these statements were dangerously close to what came out of my mouth on occasion.

Today, on social media I read these words.

Is there anyone willing to be a second grade basketball coach that has the time?  I got an email saying that if they don't get some more coaches they are going to refund some of the players money which means some of these kids won't get to play.  My child is signed up to play and would be devastated if this happened.  He has been wanting to play since he first held a basketball. 

Now - if you know her - don't try to start an online war between her and I.  I don't care where she falls in the good mom/bad mom spectrum.  I believe her when she says those things.  But when I read those words I remembered so many other statements over the years and thought to myself.  God help us here in America! What are we doing to our kids!? Just to make it to college on a softball scholarship, my girls were in the 1.5% of all HIGH SCHOOL softball players.  People did you hear that???  Check out this link.  The percentage of kids that play high school ball from all of the kids that played in 2nd grade is probably not even 1%!  So When I hear statements like "Devastated" and "wanted to play since he first held a basketball", I think of millions of kids who may or may not have had hopes so high that they carry personal insecurity problems if they didn't make it!  Or maybe they grew up hearing from mom and dad that it's always someone else's fault.  The coach didn't give her enough chances! That coach is an idiot!  Those refs suck! Home Cookin'!!!!  And better yet, maybe her dad gets in a fist fight at a college showcase tournament and the video goes viral on social media and all of the major news stations pick it up.

Here's the awful truth.  College Athletics aren't everything you think they are.  One of my girls was on a team that was #1 in the nation for a while (that is awesome and what a ride).  However, once their career was over and they looked back on it, more than one of her teammates have said to me.  "I stopped Loving the game the day it became my job."

Passing college is hard.  College Athletes have to show up most times at 6am for weights.  Go to class at 8am.  My current daughter HAS to fit all available classes into a certain time-frame.  This means that the meal plan I purchased her????  Well it isn't the value we thought when buying it because the cafeteria closes in the afternoon before she gets out of class.  When it reopens, she's in practice .... until 7pm. With Many hours of practice per day and even on the weekends, plus community service projects they try to do,  my girls very rarely are able to make it home. There is ZERO time to work and earn any money ... No not even in the off season.  Now they are stuck several hours away from home, broke, hungry, frustrated, possibly needing a study group or partner (but one that can study around practice and game schedules) homesick, and they don't have the luxury of finding friends with similar interests and quirks because they HAVE to find a best friend within the team - your teammates are the only ones who have free time the Same time you do!!    I wonder is that what we have in mind when we are yelling at referees, slandering coaches who volunteer their time, and telling our kids they're "the best"?

Yes I know you're going to be tempted to call my a hypocrite when I'm posting pictures during the season all smiles and celebrating victories and heaven help your social media feed if they were to make it to the National Championship!!!  But having seen the most wonderful and the most disappointing of both sides of this .....  should we really begin "devastated" and "her WHOLE life" kind of statements when they are in T-Ball??  Because that's where these comments start honestly.

My first daughter?  She has a wonderful mind for learning, Broadway plays, tea in fancy china, and a yearning for exploring the world - by foot if necessary.  She is driven, intelligent, loyal, and capable of probably just about anything.  My fourth daughter (the 2 athletes I'm writing about) ..... this girl is a fantastic fisherman (will even go fishing by herself!), she is compassionate towards all animals, willing to help and volunteer. If we wouldn't have chased softball, I'm guessing she would have been her Dad's shadow and entered all kinds of fishing tournaments, and probably competed in archery and marksmanship competitions.  She's brave and funny, and would have made a great barrel racer or even been completely capable of running her own ranch.  If a Rancher came along wanting to marry her?  He would have to be a natural ranching genius to match her desires and willingness to learn in these areas.   I wonder where they would be if we had pursued Any of their other interests at some point?

My Oldest - Catching at a tournament in Florida for Chatt State 

My Fourth - I have more current pictures but this collage just makes me smile. 

Oh ... one last thing???  IF we would have saved every penny we spent on softball and other booster club athletics right down to the last bag of sunflower seeds?  We could have paid for college in cash AND had enough money left over to buy her a ranch when she was done.  sigh ... hind sight and all ya'll.

Blessings for today ya'll ... we need them every day!

Heather

Only God Can Judge Me (Part 2)

Let me start by saying this -- If you didn't read part 1.  I'm going to ask you not to read part 2.   In part 1 I established that you have to have a relationship with someone to be able to call these things out in their life.  By choosing to read this blog - you are acknowledging that I have enough of your interest or respect or whatever for you to keep reading.  If you really enjoyed me coming down on the short-comings of the church, you are going to hate this one. This is where I'm at in my walk and I'm sure God will have to refine me over time.  I'm so ashamed of Us (my attitude at times includes me on the receiving end of this post as well).  Remember when I said I'm treating it like a shot gun?  Here's the second barrel.

1. Saying there is no God, and Acting like there is no God carries the same consequences. It's self explanatory - think about it. 

2  Choosing  to continue to live daily in sin is no one else's fault.  It's  your choice.  I hear so many groups wave the only God can judge me banner, and yet never are broken or try to be any better. They excuse this or blame them and never really look at their life. They continue to live as though they don't Really believe God will judge anyone!   It's as though you think God will hug you and say "There- there you poor thing none of this is your fault!"   Almost like you expect to be able to run over everyone - do whatever you want - throw fits - and never have anyone act like you're impossible. Like you are completely fine with letting everyone else suffer your consequences and keep vomiting "Only God Can Judge Me!"   You remind me of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. Whether you acknowledge God or not - you are difficult for everyone to be around. .

3.  The color Blue is still Blue whether you stomp your foot and disagree with it or not.  God is still God.  He is still there, He reigns sovereign He loves you so much he would die for you.  But true love doesn't allow all destructive behavior.  He would Not SEND you to Hell.  He bought your ticket out of there.  YOU are the one refusing to take a hold of it because it might cost you some kind of sacrifice. And then you yell "Only God Can Judge Me!'  You tattoo it on your body - you put it on your Facebook with every vulgar word you can imagine, you live contrary to everything He stands for. He Is God and He WILL judge you along with All mankind.  He will not be using another human to judge you by.  He will be using the Bible you keep trying to carve like the Thanksgiving turkey and that Should give you some hesitation to your blatant disregard for the judgement you keep shouting about. 

4.  "God doesn't care.  The Bible is outdated and He just wants me to be happy.  "Larry" makes me happy.  God doesn't want me stressed and worked up!  Isaiah 29:11 is my promise to that!  God wants me happy!"    Wrong!  If God only wants us happy then He owes Job an apology along with all of the apostles who were beheaded after his death. . Listen to me closely.  God wants you Holy!  Happy will be a product of the journey sometimes.  But if you are refusing to learn the lesson and draw close to Him and only look to Him then He will use unhappiness, financial despair, emotional turmoil, whatever it takes to bring you back under his wing because THAT is the only place you're safe.  Period.  If THIS is your view of God - Prayer  and the Christian walk you really need to sit down and spend some time with this Being you claim only wants you happy so you can discern who he really is and how well you really know him. Don't let the banging gong of this generation's feel-good religion trip you up.  Don't assume it's always your birthday party and God is only there to produce every present you want.  

5.  Somewhere along the way We The Church have done a terrible job introducing others to God.  Somewhere we decided that when we don't get our way we have the right to be mad. We say we trust Him and put everything in his hands.  But at the first minute of an adulterous spouse, the death of a parent, or financial ruin, we immediately get mad at God and spend years living like the devil and wailing "Only God Can Judge Me"!  Maybe that's it .. maybe we think the day of judgement will be something like a courtroom where you get to argue your case and change God's mind??? In any case I would say that America in general has this view of The Lord God Almighty.  The author and finisher of our faith.  The one who created the world(s) and the one who died for you.  Knowing all of that - This is how we act like he is. 

We can do better.