That's it in a nutshell ... the vs. .... the fighting ... the name calling ... the badgering.... Do not assume that this is all coming against one side or the other. I hate what both "sides" have done to each other!
I have 4 grown daughters and was a youth leader at our local church for 12 years. I have held a lot of girls over the years weeping because they thought they were pregnant (or they really were pregnant) in an unplanned or horrible situation. I absolutely cannot stand the condemnation that well meaning believers throw onto these girls. Equally disgusting is the opposing side chanting how "easy" it is to "get rid" of the 'problem'. No big deal, one appointment and your problems are over! Both extremes are ridiculously uninformed and unrealistic.
I will not get into the "scientific facts" or the debate about when life begins. I Know when life begins for me. But to be honest, Life Begins at conception for me because of what God has done for me and because of the things that we have said to each other regarding this topic. However, it is just a plain fact that not everyone chooses to defer to God or to believe in Him for that matter. It's the gift of free will he gave us!
A large section of women/girls who have had this procedure performed though were not the atheist with hatred in their heart for God. Most of them are terrified. At one point I had a young girl that I knew better than some others from my church come in and crawl up on my bed and weep. She said "But things are so terrible and mean since finding out I was pregnant. If I give birth to this baby then I have to deal with him (the dad) the rest of my life every single day!! If this baby weren't born I know it is wrong but it is a final end to the relationship. I never have to deal with the abuse nor the person ever again! It can just be a final end to the horror."
I can feel the heartbeat of both sides ramping up right now to validate their 'side' of this argument and the emotions come so fast and thick that here's what gets lost. The girl. Honestly, - Physically I think I sat still while talking to her but my mind and my heart and my spirit were turning somersaults. Because if I jump on the evangelical "THAT's NOT TRUE" bandwagon I immediately lose credibility with the frightened girl, and I was SO mad at the enemy that there was even a sliver of truth in what she was saying. Fact: with a child she DOES have to deal with the dad every single day for the rest of her life. Fact: if the child was not born she will have tremendous emotional wounds that she has to deal with. However, keep in mind what she said.... 'things are so terrible and mean'. She has already been in a horrible abusive relationship. Making the child be born isn't going to mean she doesn't already have terrible emotional trauma to deal with. She doesn't see how it could be any harder than what she has to deal with right here and now.
I have only watched one of the "Planned Parenthood videos" and I don't care what side you are on. The moment they reach into a tray and hold up an arm with tiny little fingers with a pair of tweezers it is a little unnerving. I cannot remember any of the words they were saying on the video because I just kept thinking "Oh My Gosh No"
But here's the deal. It can send me to tears in my home on my couch thinking of and looking at something like that. But when I'm dealing with a young lady considering it or having walked through it. My reaction had better be love! When Jesus addressed the lady taken in adultery after saving her from being stoned by a mob of self-righteous religious leaders, he Didn't say "WELL!! If YOU hadn't been out there sleeping around in Fornication! This wouldn't have happened to you in the first place! You have to make better choices you loose woman you!!" I literally do not think there's any way to read the words of that passage with condemnation. Neither do I condemn you, Go and sin no more. He didn't launch into what terrible choices she had made. He didn't stand on the street corner with posters saying GOD HATES Adulterers!! Come on Really?!? How can you think that is ever going to reach anyone?
I have some friends in and out of the church who have had abortions. I have some very precious girls in my life who have had abortions and some who have considered abortions but now have beautiful babies and a very difficult path co-parenting. I even have a daughter that had a child outside of marriage and has had to walk through the challenges of co-parenting with a young man she is no longer involved with. It is a difficult situation in the BEST of circumstances, but it can be downright torture in the worst of circumstances. So beating them over the head with their 'loose morals' is really not that productive when trying to help them make progress in their life going forward. Sure there's a time for that kind of "How did we get here and how can we make sure we don't revisit it again" talk but first of all you have to have relationship - you have to have earned the right to say the hard thing to someone. Believer or not - you have to have relationship. This world where people stand on either side of the conflict and hurl hate at one another is ridiculous.
There have been times I have spoken in a moment of passion that really hurt some of my loved ones who deal with abortion in their background or their family's background. And I honestly take a look at myself and fix whatever was wrong (carelessness, or being naive to her pain) without changing my conviction. That's what I'm hoping. Could the extremists from both sides pull in closer together and be more about loving the people involved instead of loving your agenda??
While my blog is more of a rant without definite solution. I just would like a world where both sides can say "How Great Is Our God" that He can take two microscopic nothings and create a Human through different stages of development and give praise where it is due without having to argue over which picture constitutes the beginning of life. For just a moment, to just have everyone acknowledge that God is the author of life without nitpicking our agendas.
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Psalm 139:13-16 SHHHH Don't talk to me about viable life, or conception, or choices or murder. Sometimes I just want to know if both sides can stand in awe for just a moment at the miracle of how we are formed. Just let me for just a minute thank God that he could take that bumpy ball you see up there and give me this.      
That's it. I don't need to know HOW it all happens or whatever. Just thank you God that you do. And when I am again in the position to wrap my arms around another young woman in need. May I do it the way you did. Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more. Because trust me, she knows how she got there. May I just point her to you and let You speak to her through me ... and without me - just you and her.
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