I'm an athletic person. I had a SLIVER of a volleyball and even smaller music scholarship offered to me (they were probably desperate in the 80's I understand that ... Nevertheless!!) I have 5 children. 4 of them have done it all ... Basketball, Soccer, Cheerleading, JO Volleyball, and softball. In Today's world you have to pick your sport early on because it consumes SO much of your time.
There are no words for the memories, friendships, vacations, wins, and even the painful loss memories that this lifestyle provided. All of it is precious! My girls loved it. It became WHO the Westovers were. Yes we were believers but in the Bible Belt I think everyone just tacks that status onto you before that first handshake even, because it's expected of you here in the south. If people thought of us I THINK (Hope) the 2 adjectives that they would have instantly said when describing us would have been -- Believers and Athletes.
I have had 2 children decide to pursue athletics into college and 2 that decided they Loved sports, but were going to commit to other fields in their life. Because I have had 2 children go to college on scholarships some will say I'm not qualified to say what I'm saying. Hopefully, some of you will realize that Because I had 2 children go to college on athletic scholarships I actually deserve the respect of a degree-holding professional when it comes to Moms of Athletes.
Before we get started, I do not know the lady who made this post. Most likely, she is a wonderful giving and balanced Mom who is trying to express the urgency of the situation to coax someone to volunteer to coach and I'm going to just believe that - and I don't need to know any different. But when I read her words, I remembered similar statements by thousands of people over 20+ years of being involved in Booster Club sports. Sadly, and to my shame a few of these statements were dangerously close to what came out of my mouth on occasion.
Today, on social media I read these words.
Is there anyone willing to be a second grade basketball coach that has the time? I got an email saying that if they don't get some more coaches they are going to refund some of the players money which means some of these kids won't get to play. My child is signed up to play and would be devastated if this happened. He has been wanting to play since he first held a basketball.
Now - if you know her - don't try to start an online war between her and I. I don't care where she falls in the good mom/bad mom spectrum. I believe her when she says those things. But when I read those words I remembered so many other statements over the years and thought to myself. God help us here in America! What are we doing to our kids!? Just to make it to college on a softball scholarship, my girls were in the 1.5% of all HIGH SCHOOL softball players. People did you hear that??? Check out this link. The percentage of kids that play high school ball from all of the kids that played in 2nd grade is probably not even 1%! So When I hear statements like "Devastated" and "wanted to play since he first held a basketball", I think of millions of kids who may or may not have had hopes so high that they carry personal insecurity problems if they didn't make it! Or maybe they grew up hearing from mom and dad that it's always someone else's fault. The coach didn't give her enough chances! That coach is an idiot! Those refs suck! Home Cookin'!!!! And better yet, maybe her dad gets in a fist fight at a college showcase tournament and the video goes viral on social media and all of the major news stations pick it up.
Here's the awful truth. College Athletics aren't everything you think they are. One of my girls was on a team that was #1 in the nation for a while (that is awesome and what a ride). However, once their career was over and they looked back on it, more than one of her teammates have said to me. "I stopped Loving the game the day it became my job."
Passing college is hard. College Athletes have to show up most times at 6am for weights. Go to class at 8am. My current daughter HAS to fit all available classes into a certain time-frame. This means that the meal plan I purchased her???? Well it isn't the value we thought when buying it because the cafeteria closes in the afternoon before she gets out of class. When it reopens, she's in practice .... until 7pm. With Many hours of practice per day and even on the weekends, plus community service projects they try to do, my girls very rarely are able to make it home. There is ZERO time to work and earn any money ... No not even in the off season. Now they are stuck several hours away from home, broke, hungry, frustrated, possibly needing a study group or partner (but one that can study around practice and game schedules) homesick, and they don't have the luxury of finding friends with similar interests and quirks because they HAVE to find a best friend within the team - your teammates are the only ones who have free time the Same time you do!! I wonder is that what we have in mind when we are yelling at referees, slandering coaches who volunteer their time, and telling our kids they're "the best"?
Yes I know you're going to be tempted to call my a hypocrite when I'm posting pictures during the season all smiles and celebrating victories and heaven help your social media feed if they were to make it to the National Championship!!! But having seen the most wonderful and the most disappointing of both sides of this ..... should we really begin "devastated" and "her WHOLE life" kind of statements when they are in T-Ball?? Because that's where these comments start honestly.
My first daughter? She has a wonderful mind for learning, Broadway plays, tea in fancy china, and a yearning for exploring the world - by foot if necessary. She is driven, intelligent, loyal, and capable of probably just about anything. My fourth daughter (the 2 athletes I'm writing about) ..... this girl is a fantastic fisherman (will even go fishing by herself!), she is compassionate towards all animals, willing to help and volunteer. If we wouldn't have chased softball, I'm guessing she would have been her Dad's shadow and entered all kinds of fishing tournaments, and probably competed in archery and marksmanship competitions. She's brave and funny, and would have made a great barrel racer or even been completely capable of running her own ranch. If a Rancher came along wanting to marry her? He would have to be a natural ranching genius to match her desires and willingness to learn in these areas. I wonder where they would be if we had pursued Any of their other interests at some point?
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| My Oldest - Catching at a tournament in Florida for Chatt State |
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| My Fourth - I have more current pictures but this collage just makes me smile. |
Oh ... one last thing??? IF we would have saved every penny we spent on softball and other booster club athletics right down to the last bag of sunflower seeds? We could have paid for college in cash AND had enough money left over to buy her a ranch when she was done. sigh ... hind sight and all ya'll.
Blessings for today ya'll ... we need them every day!
Heather
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