Those Awkward Flights

Okay ... so I'm on a flight to Atlanta. I am pretty - lucky. My husband works for a major airline and our benefits rock!

I have probably flown hundreds of times in the 26 years he has worked there. Side Note: people always feel sorry for my husband because I have flown A Lot more than he has -usually he stays home to work.  He does not refrain from flying because he has to work to pay for my excursions - stop saying that - you know who you are. He doesn't like to fly. Yes I see the irony. No there's nothing you should be scared of.  When he does he usually doesn't eat much,  if at all,  the 24 hours ahead of the flight and even when we land he can stay a little off his game for a day or so... and then 24 hrs before we head home - same thing.  He usually REALLY enjoys approximately 37 minutes of most of our vacations.  But those 37 minutes are enough to keep him doing it at least once a year.  He never checks a bag,  and by the time we had 4 children I finally told him it was no longer up for debate - we are checking our bags.  ALL of them.  Except one backpack that we could put one change of clothes in for everyone.  This lengthened his 24 hour prep time to approximately 36 hours pre-flight for a while but he has leveled out some. 

 

 

 

Anyway,  in all my years of flying I have sat next to almost every kind of flyer.  The lady who could probably have saved the Titanic with what was in her giant purse and she may be able to stop hunger in Africa with what's in there if you would just reroute her. The guy who smells (that was a lot of fun), the lady who never shuts up (quickly pretend you have a headache and go to sleep) .... I may or  may not have been her once or twice. 

 

 The Beach Boys...yes THE Beach (freaking) Boys!! They were my first concert ever at the South Dakota State Fair when I was maybe 15! Unfortunately,  they thought a lot of themselves! That plus the fact they were wrinkled like (a very tan) prune in their Hawaiian shirts left me a little sad. The very large man who couldn't even try to stop it and just spilled over into your seat without apology,  but he was so nice I didn't even notice! I would ride next to him 95 times over Stink Boy! 

 

And I have been on that flight where the mom of a toddler had to yell his name so many times I'd be willing to lay money on the fact that NONE of us on that flight would have ever even Considered naming our child Jeffrey ever again!! I have maybe BEEN that mom once or twice as well - sorry about that! But that was before Pinterest educated me that we should hand out goody bags to passengers nearby before take off complete with ear plugs to ease the sting. 

Insert follow up:  later this same weekend, I was on another flight where a 2 year old little curly haired girl was DONE being on an airplane. BOTH of her parents put on Beats headphones and proceeded to just wrestle the child while she continued to scream.....  NO .... JUST STINKIN' NO!!!! TAKE YO BEATS OFF AND OFFER THEM TO SOME POOR SOUL AROUND YOU WHO IS HAVING TO ENDURE YOUR PRECIOUS AND ENTERTAIN YOUR CHILD!!!!!!!! (Huffy breath) 

Over the years I've had health challenges jump on me one at a time that have caused me to expand in size a little (maybe a lot,  but not A LOT).  But I've always been able to buckle my seat belt and stay within my seat so I feel like I'm fighting the good fight. 

Apparently for women within my size,  there's a uniform.  Jean capris, sandals with painted toe nails, black shirt, and jewelry. 

I mean, ya kind of like this but  - dad gum! I don't look like this!!! 

 

I didn't know this before today,  but here she come. Strutting down the aisle and plopped down in the middle seat next to my window seat.  We both technically stay in our seats but it's those arms.... whose arm goes in front? Is it acceptable to just give up and have your arms touch? Apparently not,  she oozes awkwardness,  or frustration I'm not sure.  She is much younger than me,  you can tell this by looks,  but you can also tell this by the fact that everything is a big deal.  She sighs so much... about everything.... honey,  try being in labor for 24 hours before you all of a sudden see old fashion metal forceps in places they shouldn't be.  And a young country cowboy trying to learn to be a doctor on the other end, with his cowboy boots pushing against the bed while he pulls with all his might trying to convince your daughter it's time to be born.  THAT'S a big deal.  

Anyway,  we have spent this entire flight playing the hokey pokey putting our arms in and then putting our arms out to avoid touching each other causing her to heave another sigh.  I'm no longer in need of a workout except I for sure am looking forward to shaking it all about in hopefully 5 minutes! I have never had this difficult of a ride and I don't have Children with me!!

Air travel can be exhausting, and etiquette varies from one flight to the next, but if you fly long enough you will encounter every possible scenario!!!  Happy flying! 

Blessings for today ya'll, we need 'em every day! 

Heather 

My Days Are Numbered

My Days Are Numbered.... And they're close.

 
You see, I won't always post specific daily events regarding Anxiety.  My daughter is growing up and while in the future, we may write together ... I doubt she will want me to say that she had a day where she wouldn't get out of the car because she didn't want to look like a "big 'ol jerk" without her backpack (that she left in her room).  You see, she isn't the only daughter I have that struggles with actual Anxiety vs. Moments of anxiety.  I do not post specifics of her days or her battles to take stuff out on me so she can re-gain her day. But I suspect that some day she will.

Judging from the comments on FB that I (and others) get when I Do post about Anxiety, I can tell that some of you don't get it.  I had hoped that because she is the last of 5 girls and girls can be prone to manipulation and drama without struggling with anxiety, that you would see that I might be at least be a little more capable of discerning whether it's a fit, or manipulation, and put at least a little bit of weight behind my stories of experience.

When I worked in the public school I saw both kinds of kids.  Kids who used "MOMENTS" of anxiety to manipulate, and kids who anxiety jumped on top of without warning and threatened to take them out.  That's exactly what Anxiety does.  It attacks the recipient and there are days of victory -- kids can stiff-arm Anxiety when it knocks and keep going.  There are other days when Anxiety takes them out! For the rest of the day.  A lot of times Mom has to come pick them up from school so they can reset and focus and try again tomorrow.

While those days seem almost unfathomable and exhausting to us, they don't hold a candle to the days they stay and fight it out.  On the day there's a battle, and Mom leaves them at school instead of coddling them (which I've never been accused of .... making life easy for my girls.... I feel guilty about not covering them and taking all the pain away .... but 99% of the time "Suck it up Buttercup" is more of what comes out of my mouth), Those are the worst days.  Because when she gets home, she has to sit and de-stress and gather all of the frayed pieces of herself and put them back together.

I've even had friends who have taken care of her for a couple days and proclaim "She Is Fine!  We had a few bumpy spots but she has been great!"  I have 2 thoughts when people say that to me.

1)  Oh good ... I genuinely am glad she fought and fought to get through those days so that she wasn't a burden to you ... and so that she has one more victory to think back on.

2)  Oh great!  Because this means she has been fighting non-stop since she left me and when we get alone in the car - or at home, we're going to have a huge adjustment period while she settles and gets out all of the emotions she has been fighting to stuff down while she was with you.  This also means if I weren't that strong person I referred to earlier I wouldn't last.  I would become the victim.  I would feel sorry for myself that although I know I'm my daughter's strength, I'm also the vacuum cleaner.  I suck up all the raw moments it takes to regain normal and we go again.

Sometimes the vacuum is dirty and overheats because of all that doing it's job requires.  I mean, I'm doing what I'm created for - but the reality is it's crazy hard.

My days are numbered because she is growing up and it will become her specifics to share.  I can post about the struggle in general but not specifics.  My days are also numbered because it seems that for every 1 I reach there's 2 who message me to just whip her @**and tell her to get out of the car and go in to school......  (come here - how 'bout I whip your .....I digress). Or there's 3 who message me and tell me that she is just manipulating me to get what she wants (here's what I'll say to that.  You call my daughter a manipulator? I say game recognizes game!)

I grew up in the 80's --- we didn't have peanut allergies or anxiety disorders, or autism.  If we did it was in SUCH smaller numbers it wasn't identified yet.  I wanted to reach out to those in my generation to share my life because if one of your children didn't suffer from this ... one of your grandchildren will.  It's not a discipline issue, True cases of anxiety aren't even a spiritual issue, although I do believe God is the Only complete cure --- when it's his will to reach out healing.  But let's face it - we see in the Bible where saints petitioned Him for healing and he said "My Grace is Sufficient".  It's time that we as the church stop acting like these problems aren't real.  It's time we stop acting like these disorders are sin.  We have and are praying for deliverance from this, but I trust God enough to receive whatever level of deliverance He sees fit to bring today ... even if that is nothing.  My goal then becomes - how do we get through today with our faith, and our resolve to fight again renewed for tomorrow?

My posts aren't a plea for advice - or ridicule - or belittling.  They are to show you what's out there.  So that when your life crosses paths with someone who struggles, instead of being oblivious and trampling right over them, that you might use your knowledge to be an encouragement for the 30 seconds your paths cross.

Thanks everyone - you're my group, my tribe, my comfort and my frustration.  I love you all.

Blessings for Today Ya'll ... we need 'em every day!
Heather