Those Awkward Flights

Okay ... so I'm on a flight to Atlanta. I am pretty - lucky. My husband works for a major airline and our benefits rock!

I have probably flown hundreds of times in the 26 years he has worked there. Side Note: people always feel sorry for my husband because I have flown A Lot more than he has -usually he stays home to work.  He does not refrain from flying because he has to work to pay for my excursions - stop saying that - you know who you are. He doesn't like to fly. Yes I see the irony. No there's nothing you should be scared of.  When he does he usually doesn't eat much,  if at all,  the 24 hours ahead of the flight and even when we land he can stay a little off his game for a day or so... and then 24 hrs before we head home - same thing.  He usually REALLY enjoys approximately 37 minutes of most of our vacations.  But those 37 minutes are enough to keep him doing it at least once a year.  He never checks a bag,  and by the time we had 4 children I finally told him it was no longer up for debate - we are checking our bags.  ALL of them.  Except one backpack that we could put one change of clothes in for everyone.  This lengthened his 24 hour prep time to approximately 36 hours pre-flight for a while but he has leveled out some. 

 

 

 

Anyway,  in all my years of flying I have sat next to almost every kind of flyer.  The lady who could probably have saved the Titanic with what was in her giant purse and she may be able to stop hunger in Africa with what's in there if you would just reroute her. The guy who smells (that was a lot of fun), the lady who never shuts up (quickly pretend you have a headache and go to sleep) .... I may or  may not have been her once or twice. 

 

 The Beach Boys...yes THE Beach (freaking) Boys!! They were my first concert ever at the South Dakota State Fair when I was maybe 15! Unfortunately,  they thought a lot of themselves! That plus the fact they were wrinkled like (a very tan) prune in their Hawaiian shirts left me a little sad. The very large man who couldn't even try to stop it and just spilled over into your seat without apology,  but he was so nice I didn't even notice! I would ride next to him 95 times over Stink Boy! 

 

And I have been on that flight where the mom of a toddler had to yell his name so many times I'd be willing to lay money on the fact that NONE of us on that flight would have ever even Considered naming our child Jeffrey ever again!! I have maybe BEEN that mom once or twice as well - sorry about that! But that was before Pinterest educated me that we should hand out goody bags to passengers nearby before take off complete with ear plugs to ease the sting. 

Insert follow up:  later this same weekend, I was on another flight where a 2 year old little curly haired girl was DONE being on an airplane. BOTH of her parents put on Beats headphones and proceeded to just wrestle the child while she continued to scream.....  NO .... JUST STINKIN' NO!!!! TAKE YO BEATS OFF AND OFFER THEM TO SOME POOR SOUL AROUND YOU WHO IS HAVING TO ENDURE YOUR PRECIOUS AND ENTERTAIN YOUR CHILD!!!!!!!! (Huffy breath) 

Over the years I've had health challenges jump on me one at a time that have caused me to expand in size a little (maybe a lot,  but not A LOT).  But I've always been able to buckle my seat belt and stay within my seat so I feel like I'm fighting the good fight. 

Apparently for women within my size,  there's a uniform.  Jean capris, sandals with painted toe nails, black shirt, and jewelry. 

I mean, ya kind of like this but  - dad gum! I don't look like this!!! 

 

I didn't know this before today,  but here she come. Strutting down the aisle and plopped down in the middle seat next to my window seat.  We both technically stay in our seats but it's those arms.... whose arm goes in front? Is it acceptable to just give up and have your arms touch? Apparently not,  she oozes awkwardness,  or frustration I'm not sure.  She is much younger than me,  you can tell this by looks,  but you can also tell this by the fact that everything is a big deal.  She sighs so much... about everything.... honey,  try being in labor for 24 hours before you all of a sudden see old fashion metal forceps in places they shouldn't be.  And a young country cowboy trying to learn to be a doctor on the other end, with his cowboy boots pushing against the bed while he pulls with all his might trying to convince your daughter it's time to be born.  THAT'S a big deal.  

Anyway,  we have spent this entire flight playing the hokey pokey putting our arms in and then putting our arms out to avoid touching each other causing her to heave another sigh.  I'm no longer in need of a workout except I for sure am looking forward to shaking it all about in hopefully 5 minutes! I have never had this difficult of a ride and I don't have Children with me!!

Air travel can be exhausting, and etiquette varies from one flight to the next, but if you fly long enough you will encounter every possible scenario!!!  Happy flying! 

Blessings for today ya'll, we need 'em every day! 

Heather