So as my daughter posted yesterday, my grandson was removed from another daycare yesterday (effective immediately) basically due to being a normal Autistic little boy.
So once again our family was "who can take off work? I can watch them until noon!? Okay I'll meet you at noon and take them to my house. What time do you get off?" Dance we do when we have to pull together for someone in the family who has a need.
I picked up my grandkids and brought them home. We played outside, we fed some animals, and ran away from others .... because apparently bunny rabbits are creepy. Jumped on the trampoline - chased each other up the swing set, and then it was time for a nap.
I worked up a sweat getting him to sleep but honestly, his ornery little sister without autism was just as hard to get down as he was.
As he laid there sleeping, I thought of all the reasons this babysitter couldn't continue his care. She's right, he does do all of the things she said... and he does them a lot. I almost had a moment of compassion for her until I started thinking of all the years raising my nieces and nephews with our family, raising my own kids, and stories other people have told.
His mother threw a hair brush at her little sister and one of the bristles got stuck in her eyeball - true story. Same little sister pushed his Mama off the bed and broke her elbow. Surgery and two metal pins sticking out of her arm later, we finally healed.
His Mom, at 2, put numerous cats in a headlock and applied bright red lip stick.... they got revenge on her later.
Shana and Bethanni engaged in several slapping fits leaving scratch marks and bruises.
My nieces and nephews on the farm threw punches, set boobie traps, refused to play with another, and I think even tied someone up and left them there ... maybe more than once.
When they got older, I specifically remember a chase that ended in the person getting chased turning around and smacking Levi with a Tupperware pitcher right on the top of the head. He bled like a fountain and needed to be taken for stitches.
Piper bit Karlie Gee so many times I thought Amy (babysitter) might request Piper's jaws be wired shut at one point.
There have been bruises, cuts, bites, stitches, and even surgeries. Fist fights in the yard because "THAT'S MY SHIRT!", and trips to the emergency room. None of those kids were Autistic.
Is this generation of kids so much more difficult? Or are we adults just unwilling to put up with a kid who keeps us from the TV and social media?
My Grandson takes a different approach because of Autism than my Granddaughter but I assure you that sassy little blonde bundle of joy is ever bit as much work as he is.
Is it because we as care givers aren't willing to use the Internet to research techniques for special needs kids and apply them? Or maybe we aren't willing to turn off the tv and all of the other chaos that might be a trigger for a child.
The stress and chaos this puts my daughter who is 6 months pregnant under is unacceptable.
The fact that my Grandson hasn't had that one person join the family and say "I'm not giving up on you." That's unacceptable.
I have considered quitting my job. To be that consistent person for him. But for right now it just isn't possible for many reasons.
Within a year he will start public school. While there are so many wonderful people waiting to bless him there. There are equal amounts of people - even in Special Ed who will just write him off because he isn't their kind of awesome.
Sometimes I just feel like we in general aren't willing to put in all of the effort that would become his miracle because we 'deserve' to have our phone in our hand 24/7... or because we won't turn off our TV shows that create uncomfortable noise chaos even in the best of circumstances. And I'm saying We because I too fall into the trap sometimes. But when I look in his eyes on that moment he Really wants interaction, I realize we as a country have failed him - not that his condition is too difficult to handle.
If you are a daycare provider, I'm begging you to research conditions, and apply all of the techniques until something works. I know you're just trying to make a little bit of extra money, but he isn't an easy dollar bill. He is an unpolished precious jewel waiting for you to polish the spots only you can.
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