Busy Mom - Full Schedule

Recently I had a request for a blog post.  How wonderful!  ... Except I have no answer for this request!

"Someday you should do a post about how you stayed organized and on top of things for all of those softball practices and places you had to be!?"

Right!!!  (insert the music from Jeopardy) .... A week or so  (or three) later I'm still trying to think about whether I was ever "organized".  I mean - we survived didn't we?  All my kids had at least acceptable grades??  They were able to function well even with lots of activities right?!?  We actually ate around the supper table more often than we ate out because I'm a nut about family time around the table. And yet all I can think of is how often we were in the big ol' middle of chaos!  Controlled Chaos I like to call it.  I was in control but JUST barely!

So - I'm going to list maybe the top 5 things that made me successful in this venture of raising 4 athletic very busy girls needing to be at practices and games all while dragging a much smaller little sister to every event!  Of course this is a parody of how the "Pinterest Mom" would have done things, but Hey!  I'm the Poster Girl for the Pinterest Fail ... Maybe even the Queen!!

From least to greatest ...

5.  The ability to tune out the chaos of the house.  You have to be able to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer - to the couch.  You have to be able to walk past them for several days in a row while grabbing things from the pile each morning!  You eventually wear everything off of the couch and wa-la!  The living room is (semi) clean again!!  Sort of.  You can't sweat a messy house.  I just got to where I told everyone -- "It will probably always look like this - but you're always welcome"  I'm looking forward to seeing if I can do a better job of this now that there's just one little at home.  We shall see.

4.  Multi-tasking is a must!  I can't tell you how many times I would be at a softball game/practice and I knew exactly where all of my kids were while changing a diaper, answering a phone call from my mom, purchase a drink at the concession stand, and stop everything to Ring My Cowbell!!  When the girls hit a home run or made an amazing play I have this same cowbell that I've carried for years.  It's been shaken - dropped - beat on the bleachers or dugout, and maybe the back stop.  Success deserves recognition! Mama's gonna bring it!

3.  A comfortable vehicle!  This box on wheels will keep you warm - cool - dry - and carry everything precious and valuable to you.  We have changed clothes, eaten, taken naps,  laughed, cried, celebrated victories, and bemoaned losses in our vehicle.  It always contains - extra Ketsup, plastic silverware, straws, antibacterial lotion, and wipes in the cubby between the two front seats! In the glove box you would find a cosmetic case with Advil, Tylenol,  bobby pins, hair ties, maxi pads, tampons, fingernail clippers, safety pins, fingernail file, Chapstick, Tiger Balm, and Rolaids (this is for Mom!)

 And if you don't understand this picture then I probably can't explain it well.  It's universal for - I didn't know what uniform we were wearing until 4am this morning and we only had time to wash it - not dry it!!

2.  The Memory of an Elephant! Or a really great day - planner ... whatever works for you!  But seriously - keeping all of the practices and games and performances and birthday parties should have handed me a degree in Event Planning!

Speaking of elephants - this was me more times than not after putting the kids in bed and trying to get a bath!


1.  A Really Cute Man To Share In The Chaos! 

Yah yah for all of you "I Am Woman Hear Me Roar" types - I guess I could have survived alone, I'm just saying - I'm so glad I didn't have to! This picture was actually taken  AT a softball game where he met me in the parking lot to help get the "baby" and the lawn chairs and the cooler and the cowbell -sunscreen - umbrella - bag of toys - iPad - sunflower seeds - extra softball socks - sports bra - money (crap where did my purse go)  - and sunglasses up to the field before the game started because sometimes my kid was lead-off and if I ever missed an At-Bat ... It turned out to be a home run several times and you just can't live with the guilt of THAT!! 

He loves that I could remember everyone's schedule and things they needed so he would say "just tell me what you need from me" and together we would get it done. 

This picture was taken at the All-State games the summer of 2015 as we watched our second daughter (daughter #4) play at the All-State games. 

So that's it -- there was no secret weapon, no list or product to buy. There was a lot of prayer - a lot of teamwork and a lot of controlled chaos.  Seems like there should be more to it than that but there was just life! 

Note to self - never agree to write a blog that puts you as the example trying to give ideas ever again!!! Whew!!

Blessings for today ya'all, we need 'em every day! 

Heather 

Women's Lib Pshhhhh

P.S. A woman's place is wherever she can be a Woman in every sense - including being polite. 

Ladies - Ladies

For decades women were held back - not allowed the right to own land - not allowed the right to vote, or even hold certain positions in the work force. THAT was oppression. 

My Grandma told me a story about the first time Grandpa sent her to town to purchase her own car -- WHOA!!  

Luella Ruth Bush was not like me - she knew how to control her tongue, she would maybe give you a "WELL! I don't much like YOU!" Look but I don't remember her ever cutting down someone with her tongue in public. It took me a while to learn that virtue.  

As the story goes, she traveled all over one town, looked everything over and made her decision. Upon talking with the company owners they told her "When you're sure what you want, bring Johnny back to town with you and we will make a deal." 

Where I grew up everyone knows everyone - and all of these families are Good people. Also, to be fair, at that time, it was highly possible that the owner was only concerned about Grandpa being very upset with them if they did this without hearing from him first instead of thinking she wasn't capable.  Regardless, yes - it's nice that we have moved beyond that. 

By-the-way, my Grandma got her tail feathers all fanned out and drove herself to a different town and BOUGHT herself a car!  But she was always pleasant to the first company until the day she died. 

Now that you're half-way through this post I should warn you this is my "rant". I am so ashamed of my gender every time I happen upon the situation of a man holding the door open for a woman and he is met with a glare, or she pulls up short and either refuses to walk through, or most awful, gives him a tongue lashing  like you've never heard. 

This is NOT women's lib - please excuse me because I really don't use curse words very often, because I choose to use my vocabulary words to express myself.  However in this situation?! This is not women's lib - this is nothing more than you being a bitch. 

You will probably not meet any woman more confident and more capable of opening a door for herself than my girls and myself. But when a man holds a door open for me he will always get a smile, eye contact, and a thank you. Why? Because he is Not being Chauvinistic - he is committing an act of kindness!  He doesn't have to leave his group to wait for me but he does, and when all of my girls are together I have seen young men blush by the time all 5 of my girls pass before me and EACH of them says "thank you!" Each with their own expression.  When I get there and he begins to be uncomfortable I will follow up with "thank you for knowing how to be nice to a lady ... Even if it is 6 of us at once!" Usually I get a grin and nervous chuckle and he is relieved to run off to his buddies. Adult men are usually confident enough to grin widely and throw a sarcastic quip my way. 

Was I disrespected? Belittled? Made fun of? NO! What just happened was that I know there are Mama's out there doing their job and teaching their young men to commit acts of kindness and put others before themselves because all lives are valuable and reaching out with acts of kindness are just plain basic good manners!   On the flip side of that each of my girls will say thank you and not assume her sister's thank you is enough because he committed 6 acts of kindness and he deserves 6 acknowledgements for it. My Mom taught me kindness and my girls have learned it as well. 

The hardest time I ever had was while on an anniversary trip with my husband to Washington D.C. We hopped on a city bus that was packed. In front of me was a couple seated. He had on his Navy hat from WW II and time had taken its toll on his body. He was about 130 lbs and shaky with age. He took one look at me and rose to his feet and offered me his seat, I began to protest but looked in his eyes and he had picked Me to sacrifice for, not just today but for his entire life. I swallowed the lump in my throat and with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face I thanked him, and sat beside his beautiful wife who was smiling with pride.  My husband stood behind him to steady him and reach out to grab him when the bus jerked back and forth in travel. It was the hardest thing for me to ever do was to sit there and watch his struggle.  I looked around that bus at all of the able bodied young adults who pretended not to see his struggle because THEY didn't want to commit the same act of kindness, and my tears of gratitude turned to tears of sadness. 

We can spout all of the self-righteous women's lib rhetoric we want to ladies, but we helped to cause this atmosphere. With all of our insistence of equal rights, and acting out upon that impulsively with more emotion that thought, we have fostered and even taught by our actions to this next generation that we do not respect acts of kindness. 

We are better than this ladies!! We should know how to say thank you when someone treats us well! Shame on us if we don't - and woe to our country if we don't pass it on!

Purpose to make a difference and be grateful for acts of kindness and do not berate gentlemen for being Kind! All you're doing is showing folks you are unable to be kind in return. 

Have a fantastic day and be kind to one another! 

Blessings for today ya'll - we need it every day! 

Heather 

Saying goodbye to a loved one

January 18, 2016

We  took this trip to South Dakota because my Grandmother is 97. Even if I make it there more often than usual, our visits are numbered. Her body is thin and, in her words, just tired of working.

The weather was unusually cold even for South Dakota. Everyone just wanted to stay stuck indoors. I visited her with my whole family on the first day.  My youngest daughter is named after her. When I called to tell Grandmother that Piper would bear the name Lucile, she gasped and said "Well! She will be the ONLY one ever named after me!!" And she was thrilled.  That bit of news shocked me because all of my siblings and cousins love her and hold her as precious as I do.  But when I heard that I was SO very glad we had decided to make Lucile be one of Piper's 2 middle names. 

Years before I had asked Grandmother to write me a quick story of her life.  A while later I received 21 handwritten pages of her life! 21 ... It was and is the most awesome gift I could have ever gotten.  

On our last day in SD I left everyone at home and ran up to Agar to see her again.  When she saw me she said (one of those phrases that just makes her Grandmother), " Well, HEATHER!! Bless your heart!"  It was exactly what my heart wanted to hear. We had a good visit. She showed me her bruises and evidence that her body just can't circulate blood like it used to. We talked about the health of her children, who, because she eloped with the love of her life at 15 or 16, are all experiencing 'old age health issues' themselves.  

"Heather, no one should ever have to watch their children get OLD.  What could the Lord have left for me to do before I go home? But I get up every day and thank him for the opportunity of each day, pray for all my children and grandkids, and wonder when I will see him face to face." 

It was what I wanted and yet it was awful. This battle tested spiritual warrior was sharing her soul. We continued as long as I could stay. 

When I got up to say goodbye, she grabbed her walker and stood up to hug me. We hugged like we had 1000 times before, but then she grabbed my wrist with strength that made all of her talk about being so old be questionable and tears filled her eyes. She grabbed my other wrist, and then laid her forehead on mine.  "There's a few things I want to tell you young lady, starting with how precious you are to me." 

This was it. She was telling me goodbye.

I may never be able to repeat to anyone the things she said. As it is right now I'm sitting beside a total stranger on this flight home crying non-stop just writing this. (Poor guy) He is Twice my size and yet I guarantee He is scared of Me right now LOL. 

If I am honored enough to see her again.... Well first of all, she will be ticked she is still here LOL  But I don't expect to see her again. Sometimes after a well fought life, people just know when time has very few sands left to fall through the hour glass.  But if I didn't have the assurance of heaven this would be torture. However, I do, and so does she. 

It's been decades since I've seen her jump and skip and giggle with excitement, but it's fixin to happen again soon. I can feel it. She will bounce from my dad to her husband, and all off the other family who has gone on before her. She will hold the face of her baby girl who was still born, and hug her little brother who drowned at 3 and then she will see Him. Christ, the One most important to her and fall at his feet. 

Someday, when I get there she will be so happy to welcome me. 

Piper Lucile - Martha Lucile  ... And me 

**Update .... ANNND Now she's 101.5 and still such a blessing!  I guess on this day she just really knew I might need to hear some of the things she said to me in those "wrist grabbing" moments.  Still love her so much.  Still my hero, mentor, and spiritual guide .... and she would be whether we were family or not!