Can We Talk Valentine's Day?
Let's start by reading the definition of Valentine's Day from Wikipedia.
Valentine's Day, also called Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine,[2] is celebrated annually on February 14. Originating as a Western Christian feast day honoring one or two early saints named Valentinus, Valentine's Day is recognized as a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance and romantic love in many regions around the world.
When I walk into Walmart, there is an Entire section dedicated to Valentine's Day. Almost as big as it was for Christmas!! Literally, several rows for Valentine's Day ..... for kids. I get it! We love our curtain crawlers very much. We don't want them to be embarrassed by a "stupid" Valentine Box and they can only have the Coolest Valentine Cards to give out! How many kids are in their class? I must go to Pinterest and see how I can turn this roll of Smarties into a beautiful butterfly or dragon that will magically poof into real life and fly around the room or my child will be humiliated! Don't lie - we have All fallen prey to the unreachable expectations of Pinterest.
Read the Wikipedia definition of Valentin's Day again! "celebration of romance and romantic love". How many of us have spent so much energy on making sure little Karen isn't embarrassed and has a positive Valentine's experience that we fail to even THINK of romantic love? The man who was once proclaimed as the love of your life, brushed aside for the latest "keeping up with the Jones schemes" all in the names of our kids.
If you DO find anything in the Valentine section for your "significant other" it's likely a representation of sex not necessarily love and intimacy..... meaning, I saw a friend post about how was she supposed to explain the furry handcuffs and dog collar attached to a lacy piece of lingerie in the Valentine section?! I'm not saying sex isn't great - I personally love it! I don't believe it has any place (for items related to it) being sold next to children's items. Also, I'm not sure Focusing solely on sex is the meaning behind "romantic love" on this day. There's much to be said for Respect, addressing the little things (like maybe his favorite meal or dessert) Before his physical need are taken care of. But if it has to be scheduled and carried out like a robot - we have bigger problems!
I am guilty. I wanted so much to be a success as a mom that I really didn't give much thought to my man in several cases. I would convince myself that he loved the kids as much as I did and he understood. He did... he loved the kids ... he wanted them to be happy and have positive experiences as much as I did. He never probably set out in marriage and young love thinking "Wow I can't wait to have kids so we can ignore our love for each other and give them every ounce of money, energy, and ambition we have. I can't wait to watch my wife pour all of her creativity into them and have little to nothing left for me!"
I'm not attacking moms here. I am one five times over I'm guilty of all that above ..... times FIVE. My man has been neglected. Twenty some odd years down the road when I decided to Really focus on him and give him a "My Man Centered Valentine's Day" I want overboard ... I went all out in the outgoing energy of my personality. He all but ran away from me. Lets face it - he had lived 25(ish) years watching Valentine's Day be all about the kids and the nothing about him. His grab-n-go bouquet from Walmart embarrassed him because no one told him that the rules had changed! It was a disastrous Lucille Ball Valentine's Day and one that we'd probably both like to erase from history. It resulted in crushed expectations and feelings of rejection for an entire year. Like my personality is ... Go Big or Go Home .... it was a huge shock to him or what he'd been used to for decades.
This is my little lesson for younger married couples. Your kid will be fine with a blow-pop sucker taped to Valentine Cards. Yes, annoying little Karen will have the Pinterest Smartie Butterflies and most likely everyone will remember them, but give your kids the gift that will REALLY make them content, happy, and proud. Give the holiday to your man. Make their life experience one of seeing the marriage put before them. Give your man what the holiday was created for.
You have 11 days to prepare ... Go!
Blessing's y'all -- We need 'em every day!
