Back in September we went to a little therapy workshop on anxiety. One activity was for Piper to take this giant tub of animals and place each family member in there so everyone was represented. This took a while - she was very particular with her choices.
The longer she took the more nervous I got. Instantly, I was looking through that tub thinking - "Oh Dear God what will she pick to represent me? The therapist is uncomfortably close to me in this tiny room and I know she is trained to place ridiculous
importance on each of this child's choices and - OH for the love of Pete child just throw some animals in that tub - Time to GO!"
Clearly I realized all of my insecurities were screaming out against examination, and Piper was lost in her own little world picking up each animal, looking it over and placing it back in the tub.
Finally, she made her choice - Praise God she picked an animal to represent me first and put me out of my misery! She picked herself next and placed her animal firmly under my right shoulder. When it still wasn't quite like she wanted it she picked me
up, put herself down and then placed me a little on top of her.
I am a tiger - the biggest one in the tub and the only one looking intimidating & strong. I was the first one she picked. Ironically enough I have always thought Tigers were the most beautiful wild animal there is. Looking into the
eyes of a tiger (which I have only done in pictures online), there is incredible beauty but a tinge of healthy fear for the strength it possesses.
She chose for herself - a spotted frog very colorful, and very much under the shoulder of the tiger. She spends much of her summer at Shepherd's Fold Ranch hunting frogs and roly poly
bugs so I think this was a grand choice
She continued picking an animal for each family member and placing them where she thought they should be. Some who are away at college and finding their own life outside the family roof are placed farther away. Some who visit frequently are
placed close-by but none really invade the bubble that holds a little frog with the massive tiger standing over her protecting her.
I have raised 5 girls and some have needed me more than others. Some have rejected me harder than others when trying to find their own way. I have watched terrible things happen to some of the older ones by people in this world. Some of them
I have been blessed enough to see them make it all the way to the other side. Some of them are still fighting. I love watching them take the fierceness they think they have seen in me and mold it together like play dough with their personalities
and strengths to adapt to the cards life deals them.
But truth be told - I think all mothers would agree. We're scared to death. We don't know what we're doing. We call our Moms 100 times a month especially when we have babies of our own. I think I have called my Mom more to ask
advice and apologize and try to figure out life more once I had adult children than I did when they were toddlers. We try to follow God. We pray for you. We do the best we can ... and we mess things up. A lot. I can only hope
that when all is said and done that this little girl meant for that Tiger to be a compliment. I'm going to take it as one.
I love the song by Martina McBride In My Daughter's Eyes
I hope it's what she meant when placing - and Re-placing that tiger right on top of herself that day in front of that psychologist, who I decided to never go back to! LOL
Blessings for today ya'll
We need 'em every day.
