So for the last several weeks the Doctors have been saying some pretty scary things about my little princess. You know when they throw words around like seizures and epilepsy and .... Brain Tumors you just kind of have your world rocked.
Did anyone ever listen to Roy D. Mercer? I mean it was like the enemy had squared up to me and said "So - How tough an old boy are ya?" To be honest - I could have looked him square in the eye and with confidence said "Red Rover Red Rover Send .... " IF it were me. Maybe even if it were my husband. I mean we've been through a lot, We could do it. But when they use those words with your 8 year old - your baby. There's a lump that cannot be swallowed. That queasy adrenaline rush feeling that won't go away.
She's been having headaches and dizzy spells and all sorts of troubles. She cannot just shake it off no matter how many times you tell her to 'be tough'. So the Pediatrician sends you to a Neurologist. Who puts her through an entire physical work-out (checking coordination and motor functions for any clues). He orders an EEG
And an MRI ... Where they actually check her into a hospital room ... do an IV ... and put her under.
What a blessing when your recovery nurse is a long time friend who loves her to pieces!!! Thank you Donna Frick!
When I was praying about it I would have a peace about the situation but when I wasn't praying about it - those moments, those temptations to fret and fear would come knocking.
Today we got the MRI and EEG results back. The child is not sick. No fever, no stuffy nose, no problems. However, today - the sum total of the results are a sinus infection. A sinus infection in the cavities inside her brain (there's more sinus cavities than just the ones surrounding your nose). They've called in medicine. They suspect this will help with the headaches.
The thing is, I always talk a good talk. I always say I want God's Will, but what if God's will is for us to walk through something really hard. I am not a believer in the world's philosophy that because God is love he will never allow you to suffer. The "suffer" is when he can either use you to minister and witness to another, or it's when he can draw you close to reveal yet another level - another way he protects and cares for us. And that's really easy to claim when you aren't facing something scary. But when you're praying for your 8 year old to not have any brain tumors or epilepsy I have to admit that while I begged him for her health and that His Will would be to show himself strong in protecting her health, I really had to choke on the part where .... "Not my will but thine Oh Lord".
It is hard to come to the point where your prayer can let go and say "I know you got this." and it isn't all Please Do What I Say Lord!!!!
It is hard to come to the point where your prayer can let go and say "I know you got this." and it isn't all Please Do What I Say Lord!!!!
Well Praise God! I mean this has been a hard year for our family. We would have trusted God and walked right through it but I am so glad we don't have to.
There are so many other Moms who do by-the-way. They get that other phone call, and they find out new levels of strength the Lord brings. Today I pray for you with a lot more sincerity than I knew before.
