Top Five Things I have to leave behind when on an outing with my grandchild who has Autism.
It's okay to laugh with me.
EVERY Autistic child is different. But I think everyone blessed with these kids in their life can identify with my trip yesterday! WHEEEW Here are my Top Five things that have to be left behind.
5. Your cell phone - your purse - and anything that may distract you from giving him your undivided attention. They are slippery - they are determined - and they are instinctively smart. They wait for the 1.2 seconds you let down your guard and then they are gone like someone shot them out of a cannon. You will have to crawl over senior citizens, stiff arm a toddler coming up to make friends, and run a faster 40 than you ever have in your life if you have any distractions what-so-ever or you will never catch up with them.
4. Your schedule. You still haven't gotten it have you. You don't have a schedule! You don't matter here! The day will go as fast or as slow as said child's mind runs in that moment. Take your vitamins, stay fully hydrated and stay prayed up!
3. Layers of clothing. Fashion does not exist when you're chasing a toddler who can put his head down and shuffle away faster than you ever could run the 100 yd. dash. Just a t-shirt and running tights. This is my recommendation. You never know when you're going to have to crawl under a table to pull them back out and you will need the full range of motion that tights offer. I used to think that leggings aren't pants. Lived by it and posted it in frustration on social media several times over the years. If you are accompanying a wonderful member of the toddler Autism community you get a pass. Grab those leggin's Darlin' He's already in aisle 2 and you're going to have to pay for 5 jars of pickles if you don't pick it up!
2. Friends. Your friends - yes you can have play dates but all of the adults need to stay focused on the little tribe that seems to be able to communicate all in their own language. Be careful - they are conspiring an escape and you have to be on your toes!
1. Last but not-least ... Your Pride. You see, You are now in His world and the things he loves require you to leave your pride behind. For instance. Yesterday, I accompanied my daughter and my two grandkids to a Dr. check-up because it is impossible to do both children alone and actually make it home with both of them. My Granddaughter is a hand full to be sure but her little thought process works like ours and for the most part can figure out how to assimilate to the sign language adults do ... snap a finger and point at her? She knows she should knock it off. My grandson? Pshhhhh Snap your finger all day long lady - he didn't hear you. He is busy running through the construction manual of the chair you're sitting on in his head and if you're not paying attention, he'll have that thing disassembled and you in a pile on the floor before you can snap a second time. I watched my daughter who is a pro at this Mommy thing for Autism immediately grab a rubber glove and blow it up for him ... then she let the air out and put it on her head (her hair was AWESOME after this). Then she crawled under a table to play and do sign language with him and I have worked up a sweat just trying to figure out how to help. Finally when he could take it no more I decided that I could walk up and down the hallway with him!! Except that my grandson is technically what they consider non-verbal at this point. He can say a few words but does not have the number of words in his vocabulary that they want so that's the title we get. Back to the hallway..... where he has chosen to use probably the One word he can pronounce really well. ..... Help. He proceeds to yell HELP!! Whenever he wants to show me something - or doesn't want to turn around - or while he is patting the floor for me to sit beside him - or when he licks the glass doors because he's trying to use all of his senses to figure out if he can get through this door. Ignore the people opening their doors to look out in the hallway to make sure you aren't harming this child or maybe trying to steal him or something. Smile at them - they don't see how hard you're trying!
He also can wiggle his index finger at you indicating that you should follow him. When he does this you should put down your purse, shove your phone in your pocket and assume the position of the best defensive back's you've ever watched (I tried to imitate Seattle's Defensive player -- Richard Sherman (ya ... I'm not him). He is about to duck his little head and take off. People try to talk to him and he doesn't make eye contact he just keeps wiggling that index finger indicating his motor is about to kick in gear. You cannot feel guilty about not addressing the people trying to talk to him. You don't have time. Plaster a smile on your face (that probably makes you look like an idiot but it's prettier than the frown you'll be wearing in a minute because you're breathing hard). "HELLLP!" And off he goes. The cute little papers the Dr.'s office has posted stating they would prefer you to be quiet must be ignored and don't feel bad.
Getting him in a chair to take his blood pressure is a little like wrestling a 30 ft. anaconda and he remembers how to say HELP really loud!! While trying to wrestle you back, he is using the only methods toddlers know to get out of his situation. You will not have a hair do NOR make-up when he is done. There is no sucker big enough and there aren't enough stickers in the world to make up for all of this. To reward him you must go outside where he smiles the smile that melts your heart and wiggles his little index finger at you. You throw rocks into the ditch together and you stomp dandelions and blow bubbles and he crawls up into your arms and gets you to sing to him. Before you can get him into his car seat his little eyes are droopy and he is falling asleep.
Now you need to retrace your steps and track down your purse, hoping no one has helped themselves and charged hundreds of $ during your bonding time with your Grandson. Drag your exhausted body back to your car where you can barely lift your arms to drive yourself home and pray and tell God how grateful you are that your grandson is made exactly like he is. There's so much to learn about him, yourself, and God - why would you ever have wished for a different journey!?!
Also, I just need to give God credit for my daughter. The child who was always so goofy I was always reprimanding her to straighten up and act proper. Stop putting your corn on your teeth - that's not funny ... okay it's a little funny but don't do it in public! Fart noises and burps are NOT funny! Please don't make your profile pictures of you with your eyes crossed and ... wow - do your eyes really do that??? Your laugh!?! Can you not laugh just a little quieter in public you silly girl!?!
No she couldn't. She was preparing to be a fantastic mom who can crawl under tables, wear blue hats made out of rubber gloves in the Dr. office, do sign language, giggle at the wonderful nonconformity things her son operates in and notice when he has spend hours playing with plastic eggs that he keeps putting them in the same order over and over and over. "Mom - he is doing patterns!!"
Of course he is - he is as wonderful and smart as you are darlin'. Thank you God for letting me see some of the weird pieces in my life making sense in my bigger puzzle picture. You're all knowing and all seeing and I've been in the way too many times.
